Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.


Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Gay Agenda sighting in Rhode Island

A Catholic bishop in Rhode Island has taken time from gay-raping little boys and forcing women to have babies to note in alarm that the mighty supervillain The Gay Agenda (left) has shot Rhode Island Attorney General Patrick Lynch with his Gay Ray Gun of Gayness, forcing A.G. Lynch to rule that (gasp) gays should have equal rights under the Establishment clause of the Constitution rather than be stoned to death. Why, if gays had equal rights, they would... they would... CUT OUR HAIR AND DECORATE OUR HOMES MOST TASTEFULLY! What would the makers of knotty pine furniture do then, I ask you? Think of their innocent little children, starving amongst a sea of knotty pine furniture in Cooterville Alabama. Oh the horror!

So remember boys and girls, keep an eye out for that mighty supervillain The Gay Agenda flying across your sky clad in his gay little short-shorts and perfectly coifed permed hair, because if he got his way, why, we'd all be gayer than the gay mayor of gayville and the children of the makers of knotty pine furniture would be reduced to eating sawdust for breakfast lunch and dinner. Think of the children! Oh the poor little children!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Posted by: BadTux / 2/28/2007 08:21:00 AM  

Comments:

As a native of Lil' Rhody, I can state unequivocally that it is Teh Gayest State EVAR. Having The Gay Agenda shoot the state with his Gay Laser of Gayness would be entirely redundant. Fer chrissakes, we're talking about people who drink something called a "Coffee Cabinet." How gay is that??
# posted by Gerald Fnord : 28/2/07 11:31 AM  

Obviously, Mary Cheney's child should be taken into church custody as soon as he or she is born.
# posted by K. Ron Silkwood : 28/2/07 11:32 AM  

Hi! I thought you and your readers might be interested in some post-Easter news about Pope Benedict XVI...
The Pope's car is being auctioned off to raise money for Habitat for Humanity:
www.buyacarvideos.com/popecar.htm
The bidding is already more than $200,000! Personally, I think this is a really fun and creative way to raise
money. The auction goes until April 14th if you and your readers want to check it out.
# posted by BJ : 11/4/07 9:00 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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