Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Pizza bake-off day 4

Before we get to today's pizza, first, a slight health message from the Penguin:

One of the downsides of the all-pizza diet is roughage, or lack thereof. If you're curious about why that is a downside, eat pizza for three days straight then you will know exactly what I mean. Your, uhm, eliminatory functionality, shuts down entirely, clogged solid.

What this says is that you need to add roughage to your diet if you wish to retain normal elimination. It may seem strange to see a penguin wolfing down a salad (a very low calorie food) at the same time he is wolfing down pizza. But believe me, the alternative is far, far more painful. Thus as a true bachelor, I buy pre-mixed salad greens from the grocer and add a fine vinaigrette and, if available, a few shakes of Parmesan cheese. The result is normal lower intestinal tract functioning. The other alternative, which I employ whenever I'm not doing pizza taste testing, is to simply pile jalapeno chilis on top of the pizza. While that produces a fire at the other end the next day, lower intestinal tract functioning is NOT an issue at that point.

With that health message interlude finished, we now resume our frozen pizza testing. Check back this evening for the *next* pizza in our bake-off! What kind of pizza will it be? Well, you'll just have to wait and see, hmm?

-- Badtux the Gourmet Penguin

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Posted by: BadTux / 4/11/2007 08:35:00 AM  


Thanks for this semi-culinary advisory. I always thought anchovies supplied enough roughage.
# posted by Lurch : 11/4/07 11:26 AM  

Lurch, as I have discussed previously, I do not eat anchovies on pizza. The problem is not that I do not like anchovies. The problem is that the anchovies available to me where my iceberg is currently parked are too salty to be placed on a pizza. They make the pizza too salty.

- Badtux the Patient Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 11/4/07 12:17 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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