Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Vice President Darth Cheney defends checks of underwear drawers

WASHINGTON - Vice President Dick Cheney said yesterday that the Pentagon and the CIA are not violating people's rights by examining the underwear drawers of hundreds of Americans and others suspected of terrorism or espionage in the U.S.

National-security letters permit the executive branch to search underwear drawers in terrorism and spy investigations without a judge's approval or grand jury subpoena.

"The Department of Defense has legitimate authority in this area. This is an authority that goes back three or four decades. It was reaffirmed in the Patriot Act," Cheney said on Fox News Sunday. "It's perfectly legitimate activity. There's nothing wrong with it or illegal. It doesn't violate people's civil rights."

Constitutional scholar I.M. Cracker, who blogs under the name "Instahack", also appeared on Fox News defended Cheney's interpretation of the Constitutional implications of this novel surveillance program. "Look," he said. "I don't have anything to hide. Why should I care if Dick Cheney is sniffing my underwear?" At this point his eyes started rolling and he started emitting ecstatic noises while his right arm moved suggestively, at which point Fox broke to an urgent news bulletin about a missing white blond girl, then returned to Pat O'Really's show for commentary, with two special guests appearing via remote camera.

"A man's underwear is his most personal possession," exclaimed outraged civil liberties advocate L. Wombat from his fortified compound in San Francisco. On the other screen, Vice President Darth Cheney smirked. "You're just afraid that I'll find out you wear frilly string bikini underwear," Vice President Cheney said. L. Wombat started to say something, but Pat O'Really cut the mike and said "There you have it, folks. All liberals are pervert Commies! And from the No Spin zone, I'm Pat O'Really!"

White House press secretary Pony Blow denied reports that the administration was next going to examine sock drawers. "And if the New York Times reports that we are, they're enemies of America and should all be hung! We're trying to defend America! Why does the New York Times hate America?" When reporters objected to the notion of reporters being hung, Pony Blow added "After a fair trial for treason in front of a military tribunal, of course. Why do you hate our criminal justice system?"

That's today's news from the penguin's iceberg...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 1/15/2007 03:54:00 PM  


Oh !!

Me !!

Please, Dick, come and check my underwear drawer. I'm so proud of my skid marks and I want to show them off to you.

But bring your own booze you little fucker.
# posted by BBC : 15/1/07 7:57 PM  

When compared to the current crap, err, CROP of politicians, reporters are, in fact, hung.

Or did Cheney mean to say "hanged"?
# posted by andrew618 : 15/1/07 7:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

 My Photo
Name: BadTux
Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica

I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

April 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /

Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)

Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Terror Alert Level
Honor Roll
Technorati embed?
Liberated Iraqis

"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

-- Plato

Are you a spammer? Then send mail to my spamtrack mailbox to get permenantly banned! Remember, that's (hehehhe!).

More blogs about bad tux the snarky penguin.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?