Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

How rich women stay thin

Have you ever noticed that rich women are so thin as to almost be emanciated? Think of any rich woman you've ever seen on the television news being interviewed. Have you ever seen one who was fat?

I think I know why. It's the shopping.

Yes, I said "shopping". From about 4pm to 8:45pm, I was at the Great Mall of Milpitas, getting some clothes and a couple of pots after stopping at Home Depot to buy some stuff for making a tail-light bracket for the new auxiliary brake light on my KLR. Then on the way home I popped over to Wal-Mart and bought some tuna and toothpaste and a few other odds and ends. I finally got home around 9:45pm, and promptly collapsed into my chair as if I'd just finished running a freakin' marathon...

Did you know that the Great Mall is over a mile around if you walk the main hallway? And that's if you walk straight. I wasn't walking straight. I was going into stores and looking at slacks and shirts and pots and pans (I needed a couple of 1 quart pots -- a stainless one and a non-stick one -- because my old non-stick pots inherited from my father have pretty much bit the dust, they show more aluminum than non-stick coating nowdays). And I was doing all this while hauling bags around. LOTS of bags towards the end. Scored some good loot for cheap (this is sort of an outlet mall), including a new glass cutting board for $5.95, a splash screen for $1.00, a 1 quart non-stick pot for $5.95, and two good-quality polo shirts for $23.95 (for the pair). But man, I've hiked five miles uphill with 40 pounds on my back and used less energy!

Now, if only I had unlimited sums of money, and really liked shopping... why, I might even be as thin as Ann Coulter! Uhm, on second thought, maybe it's a good thing that shopping is a once-a-month (at most, other than groceries and Home Cheapo or auto parts runs) thing for me... I mean, why would a guy want to look like Ann? (Shudder).

-- Badtux the Shopping Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 9/09/2006 11:51:00 PM  


I don't watch any TV, but isn't Ophra more big than thin?

And are any of those women getting any sex? I get the impression that most of them are just frustrated women.
# posted by BBC : 10/9/06 2:24 AM  

BTW.... Just exacty at what point in time does a wise observation become a pithy statement? Can you explain that to me?
# posted by BBC : 10/9/06 7:28 AM  

Oprah has lost a considerable amount of weight since she became wealthy.

"Pithy" refers to length.

# posted by BadTux : 10/9/06 11:04 AM  

In length do you mean concise and full of meaning?
# posted by BBC : 10/9/06 2:44 PM  

Wait, Ann is a woman?

Take a look at the neck (the adam's apple), you might change your mind.
# posted by niCk(Mem Beth) : 10/9/06 3:59 PM  

Nick.... Do you mean to say that Ann is a man with a pussy? :-)
# posted by BBC : 10/9/06 7:44 PM  

Say Tux, would you happen to be the person that creates the Classic Bloom County comic?
# posted by BBC : 11/9/06 1:26 AM  

Milpitas rocks (Yeah, I used to live there for a while.).

As for the stainless steel pots, and, what guy doesn't love stainless steel (Hey, it's great for guns!), skip them. Stainless steel has a fairly low thermal conductivity, much more so than certain other metals (e.g., Copper, etc.), which lead to undercooked or overcooked food (or, sometimes both at once!).

As for the teflon, there's some evidence that burning teflon isn't good for you. Of course, there's also some evidence that burned, stuck food isn't good for you, either.

As for shopping, about the only places I shop are Lowes, Home Depot (when Lowes doesn't have what I need, which is pretty rare), Walmart, and the local grocery store. Let's face it, there aren't many guys who like to shop (Could this explain why so many guys are overweight, even the rich ones?).

As for the glass cutting board, is that a "Morton" board? I can understand the splash screen if you're grinding glass (or, is that the cooking kind of splash screen?).

As for Ann, YUCK! Now I'm going to have to try to get that image out of my mind for the rest of the morning. Here's hoping that I don't barf. :-(


P.S. sucks, since it crashed and ate the first copy of this that I tried to post. :-(
# posted by Anonymous : 11/9/06 8:25 AM  

I have to agree with Nick. That guy's scary.

"'Pithy' refers to length."

I think that's getting a bit personal.
# posted by NewsBlog 5000 : 11/9/06 10:49 AM  

Dave, the stainless steel pot is for heating up soup. If you can get soup to stick to a stainless steel pot, you're a better man than me :-). Also, stainless steel pots that are copper-clad or which have an indirect spacer on the bottom do not burn food as easily. The thing about stainless steel is that it is virtually indestructible, which is why I use it whenever possible and leave the non-stick stuff for the food that needs it. Same deal with my cast iron skillets. Keep'em oiled, and they'll last forever.

If I had unlimited money, I would purchase a full set of Calphalon in all three flavors, which is some primo heavy-duty s***. But I don't happen to have a couple thousand bucks hanging around for that -- or a need for it, to tell ya the truth.

# posted by BadTux : 11/9/06 11:55 AM  


# posted by 42 : 11/9/06 1:21 PM  

Hey, 42, this waddling penguin feels right at home with all the other waddling patrons of Wal-mart. Of course, all the other patrons are waddling because they are about 200 pounds overweight, not because they are penguins, but ... (shrug).

- Badtux the Waddling Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 11/9/06 3:26 PM  

Walmart is just an evolution like every other business, and there are people working on getting them to improve employee benifits.

And I have friends that work there and like it so I shop there to support them and save money.

Yes, cast iron rules.
# posted by BBC : 11/9/06 8:15 PM  

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