Thursday, June 01, 2006
Terrorists vow to strike Omaha and Louisville!
Yessiree, terrorists traumatized in their youth by Marlin Perkins have vowed to wipe Omaha, Nebraska off the map! And terrorists in awe of the weapons of mass destruction produced in Louisville have vowed that they will not rest until the factory producing that dastardly instrument that has killed so many round cowhide-clad objects is wiped off the map!
As for New York, the terrorists apparently have decided that New York is, like, so *YESTERDAY*. I mean, c'mon. It's New YORK. Yuck. Who would want to go there?
At least, that's what the news must be, if the current allocation of Homeland Security money accurately reflects the terrorist threat to America. I mean, c'mon, when you see news like this:
WASHINGTON, May 31 — After vowing to steer a greater share of anti-terrorism money to the nation's highest-risk cities, Homeland Security officials today announced grants to New York City and Washington that would be slashed by 40 percent, while dollars headed to spots including Omaha and Louisville, Ky., would surge. ... Ms. Henke, who recently took over the office that distributed anti-terrorism grants, said the relative changes in the grant dollars are based on just the kind of detailed analysis of threat and vulnerability that officials in Washington have been calling for in criticizing past awards.
Yessiree, that must mean that, like, the terrorists have decided screw those liberal New Yorkers, it's time to go after those die-hard heartland Bush supporters and campaign contributors. Oh wait, no, that was the Department of Homeland Security that said that. My bad!
-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Posted by: BadTux / 6/01/2006 05:01:00 PM
Well, Louisville has had previous encounters with "terrorism". Back in 1981, they had two miles of streets and sewers exploded:
# posted by : 2/6/06 9:21 AM
Thanks for the info. I thought maybe the terrorists were going after Presbyterian headquarters in Louisville and that mail-order steak place in Omaha.
# posted by Joyful Alternative : 3/6/06 6:19 AM
- Name: BadTux
- Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.
View my complete profile
April 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)
Cost of the War in Iraq