Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


Howdy, Bubba the Suthern Penguin here. Now, my ole' cat-killin' buddy Bill Frist showed up on my door, askin' me if I could find him some more cats. Sad to say, there ain't a cat left in a fifty mile radius. Ole' Bill done kilt them all, after adopting them as a pet of course.

Now, I axed him why he wuz needin' some cats, and he said them dadburn LIE-berals was makin' a fuss, 'cause they done gone to Jesus, our troops has. Hallaleujah, AMEN!

So anyhow, I zxed him, can we declare victory and go home now? And he tole me, of course not! If we'uns ain't over there killin' them thare darkies in Eye-Rack, why, they is all gonna swim the Atlantic Ocean with knives in their teeth and sneak into our bedrooms at night and KILL US ALL! And besides, it ain't like REAL peoples is dyin'. I mean, c'mon, he sez You don't see the children of a Dick Cheney or a George W. Bush or a Bill Frist or of anybody else who's really *somebody* out there dyin', right? No no, you see all those POOR people signing up because they're starving. Let them eat cake. Or IED's. Whatever.

Now, I ain't quite agreet with that. I don't see how them thare eye-rackies can swim the Atlantic with them knives in their teeth, and some of my own folk done signed up and is over thare. But then ole' buddy Bill informed me that Saddam Hussein, he was this evil madman in charge of eye-rack, why, he bred a bunch of Eye-rackies who had, like, GILLS! And FINNS, apparently cross-breeding them with them Finns from Finnland! And he, like, maked this deal with SATAN so them thare knives they is carryin' is ACCURSED, and not only will them eye-rackis kill us all after they is finished swimmin' across the ocean with knives in their teeth, but they'll draw PENTAGRAMS with our BLOOD and sell our souls to Satan for dessert!

Why, I guess ole' Bill is right. Declarin' victory and goin' home just cain't happen, 'cause if it did, them Eye-rackies would not only kill us all, they'd send us all to Hell!

-- Bubba the Suthern Penguin

Well, there iz another reason I ain't got no cats fer Bill.. them thare cats is startin' ta FIGHT BACK!

Posted by: BadTux / 6/15/2006 06:00:00 PM  


Ah wool join th' fait....
# posted by Carl : 15/6/06 7:37 PM  

That looks like my cat. And it's bad enough when she's armed with just her claws; I keep my gun cabinet locked so she can't get at 'em.
# posted by Joyful Alternative : 16/6/06 3:27 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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