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Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Sunday, April 09, 2006Fixer [Interim Title] Chapter 6 Part 1
Chapter 6 "I got something for you," I told Officer Dick as I drove home to get some dry clothes. "You might want to reconsider the owner of that car as a suspect." I gave him the address, telling him that he might want to get a search warrant because the place looked like it'd been tossed. "Oh, you also want to send an ambulance, 'cause there's a guy trussed up in the garage and he has a couple of bullet holes in him." I could hear Officer Welch groan. "We're not in the business of disposing your bodies for you." "Why does everybody say that to me? Hey, he's not dead," I said in in my best offended voice. "If you hurry and get the ambulance out there, you might even find out who he is and what he was doing lurking around the place in a black ski mask assaulting random women." "He assaulted you?" "Yeah," I said. Dick was quiet for a few seconds. "You okay?" "I'm in better shape than he is," I said. "I'm not complaining." "You searched him?" "Nothing," I said. "Unless you consider a Beretta 96 to be something. I took the magazine and the round in the chamber, but left the pistol there for you." "Couldn't you just for once hang around and give a statement like a regular civilian?" "Dick, Dick, Dick. Look, I pissed myself, I got cigarette burns, my head hurts from when he nearly suffocated me, and I have rope burns on my wrists. If you want to talk to me, I'll be at East Side Critical Care, you know where that is." "You pissed yourself? You?" "What, you think I change my oil or somethin'? Here's a clue, Dick. When someone tries to suffocate me, I piss my pants just like anybody else." "Huh." "Just get the warrant and the ambulance on the way. I gotta see a doctor." I hung up and turned into my apartment complex, coming to a halt in the manager's spot. I rushed in, saying a quick "Hi!" to Consuela and hustling through to the manager's apartment before she could stop me. My pants and panties went into a plastic trash bag. My shirt went into another, and my sports bra ended up on the bed. Then I took a quick shower to get rid of the smell and the powder residue, tossed on a t-shirt and jeans pair that made me look 14 years old, grabbed the plastic trash bag with the shirt in it, and rushed out almost as quickly, saying "Gotta run, Connie, I'll be back in a little bit." A quick stop by apartment 12B to temporarily stash my Kahr PM9 and holster in the air duct, a quick stop at a random shopping center to throw the shirt into a dumpster, and I was ready to get some medical treatment. Posted by: BadTux / 4/09/2006 10:02:00 PMComments:Yep, the url forwarding worked...see if you can reduce the # seconds by a few so people don't get antsy :-)# posted by Jeremy : 10/4/06 6:52 AM
I am enjoying this immensely, I just wish the meds they gave me didn't make it so hard to concentrate. |
About Me
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Cost of the War in Iraq
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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
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