Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Fixer [Interim Title] Chapter 6 Part 1

Chapter 1 Part 1 Chapter 1 Part 2 Chapter 2 Part 1 Chapter 2 Part 2
Chapter 3 Part 1 Chapter 3 Part 2 Chapter 4 Part 1 Chapter 4 Part 2
Chapter 5 Part 1 Chapter 5 Part 2

Chapter 6

"I got something for you," I told Officer Dick as I drove home to get some dry clothes. "You might want to reconsider the owner of that car as a suspect." I gave him the address, telling him that he might want to get a search warrant because the place looked like it'd been tossed. "Oh, you also want to send an ambulance, 'cause there's a guy trussed up in the garage and he has a couple of bullet holes in him."

I could hear Officer Welch groan. "We're not in the business of disposing your bodies for you."

"Why does everybody say that to me? Hey, he's not dead," I said in in my best offended voice. "If you hurry and get the ambulance out there, you might even find out who he is and what he was doing lurking around the place in a black ski mask assaulting random women."

"He assaulted you?"

"Yeah," I said.

Dick was quiet for a few seconds. "You okay?"

"I'm in better shape than he is," I said. "I'm not complaining."

"You searched him?"

"Nothing," I said. "Unless you consider a Beretta 96 to be something. I took the magazine and the round in the chamber, but left the pistol there for you."

"Couldn't you just for once hang around and give a statement like a regular civilian?"

"Dick, Dick, Dick. Look, I pissed myself, I got cigarette burns, my head hurts from when he nearly suffocated me, and I have rope burns on my wrists. If you want to talk to me, I'll be at East Side Critical Care, you know where that is."

"You pissed yourself? You?"

"What, you think I change my oil or somethin'? Here's a clue, Dick. When someone tries to suffocate me, I piss my pants just like anybody else."


"Just get the warrant and the ambulance on the way. I gotta see a doctor."

I hung up and turned into my apartment complex, coming to a halt in the manager's spot. I rushed in, saying a quick "Hi!" to Consuela and hustling through to the manager's apartment before she could stop me. My pants and panties went into a plastic trash bag. My shirt went into another, and my sports bra ended up on the bed. Then I took a quick shower to get rid of the smell and the powder residue, tossed on a t-shirt and jeans pair that made me look 14 years old, grabbed the plastic trash bag with the shirt in it, and rushed out almost as quickly, saying "Gotta run, Connie, I'll be back in a little bit." A quick stop by apartment 12B to temporarily stash my Kahr PM9 and holster in the air duct, a quick stop at a random shopping center to throw the shirt into a dumpster, and I was ready to get some medical treatment.

Posted by: BadTux / 4/09/2006 10:02:00 PM  


Yep, the url forwarding worked...see if you can reduce the # seconds by a few so people don't get antsy :-)
# posted by Jeremy : 10/4/06 6:52 AM  

I am enjoying this immensely, I just wish the meds they gave me didn't make it so hard to concentrate.

You are doing a great job.
# posted by Debra : 10/4/06 7:18 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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