Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Terrorizing America one ham at a time

Look at the face. This face is the face of evil. Pam's House Blend fills us in on the horrid vegan threat to homeland security. Why, if we don't spy on anti-meat activists protesting outside of Honeybaked Hams, these non-violent vegetarian anti-meat activists will KILL US ALL with their evil Carrots of Mass Destruction, Tomatoes of Terror, and Horseradish of Horror! Well, maybe not, but I'm sure they'll do something bad, really! Like, hurt someone's feelings, or somethin' y'know?!

Meanwhile, Osama still hasn't been caught. But that's okay, we know who the REAL threat to America is: radical vegetarians. These people are obviously anti-God and thus anti-American. Why, if God had intended for man to be vegetarian, He wouldn't have created meat counters at supermarkets!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

An innocent victim of vegan terrorism shudders in fear on its platter
Posted by: BadTux / 1/27/2006 07:42:00 PM  


My sister is a vegetarian, but not a vegan. I'm not sure if I should worry about an imininent arrest or not.

Also, my mother used to tell me to eat my vegetables. She's almost 85 now, but should I turn her in anyway?
# posted by zenyenta : 27/1/06 10:21 PM  

Horrors, I used to be vegetarian, of the lacto- flavor. I'm sure they must have a file on me. Do you think I should plan on escaping to Canada, or is youthful idealism a good excuse?
# posted by SB Gypsy : 28/1/06 9:08 AM  

sb gypsy, youthful idealism is now a federal offense. Canada may not work after their recent election. Maybe you'd like Venezuela?
# posted by zenyenta : 28/1/06 10:44 AM  

Hey, Hugo Chavez sounds like a much more humanitarian person than Bushco!
# posted by JerryK : 29/1/06 8:10 AM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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