|
|
Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Tuesday, May 17, 2005Tiny tots gone wild! News at 11!Who do you think gets expelled the most from school? Low-rider-wearing gangsta youth in the high schools? Backward cap wearin' baby gangstas in middle school? Or even spitball-throwing 4th graders?Well... if you picked any of the above... YOU'RE WRONG! The students who get expelled the most from school... who are the rowdiest, roughest, hard-to-handle kids of all, that the schools have such difficulty educating that they have no choice but to send them home... are PRESCHOOLERS. Yes, preschoolers. Little pipsqueaks that weigh maybe 40 pounds max, that like getting smiley faces and dislike getting frowney faces, that will perk up and fly right at the mention of ice cream... yes, PRESCHOOLERS. Seems these little dudes and dudettes so terrify teachers and administrators that they end up having to call the cops in order to handle them. Oh well, I guess at least it beats shooting them. Or beating them with a paddle so hard that they have to be taken to the hospital. Still, you'd think that grown adults could handle a 40 pound tot without handcuffs or expulsions being involved! Oops, sorry, that makes too much sense. How reality-based of me. Guess I'm gonna have to spank myself with General J.C. Christian's spatula of redemption for the sillyness of suggesting that, at one time in this nation's history, adults were capable of disciplining kindergarteners without resorting to draconian measures. How naughty of me! - Badtux the Snarky Penguin Posted by: BadTux / 5/17/2005 02:51:00 PMComments:Silly Penguin. Don't you realize that beating and cuffing and expelling preschoolers is nothing more than a valiant attempt to save Western civilization from the Mohammedans and their natural allies, the Secular Humanists?Here's how their evil plot works: First, they send the tots (or as I call them, "larval terrorists") to schools where they're not cuffed and stuffed for throwing temper tantrums. Then, they get to high schools where a bunch of eggheads teach 'em Evolution like it's a valid scientific theory or something! Snort! Then it's off to college for a heaping dose of Existentialism, and the next thing you know, they're flyin' planes into buildings while quoting Sartre! The madness must stop! I say we follow the advice of Saint Hicks and send cops into maternity wards. Cuff the little criminals as they pop out! It's the only way to save ourselves! # posted by Pope Horatio Tyrannosaurus Nixon Rex : 18/5/05 10:45 AM
Hoo boy, those 40-pound preschoolers are a holy terror, aren't they? What's a 200-plus-pounder adult like me to do with these kiddies? |
About Me
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Links
Honor RollTechnorati embed?Liberated Iraqis
|
"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
Are you a spammer? Then send mail to my spamtrack mailbox to get permenantly banned! Remember, that's iamstupid@badtux.org (hehehhe!).
More blogs about bad tux the snarky penguin.
