Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Hindus worship elves

They also have celebrations where they roll in cow dung and urine. I know it because government-approved school materials tell me so and my government would never lie to me. Other things that I know because my government, which is always right and never lies to me, tells me: the dots on Hindus' foreheads is a caste mark, rather than simply signifying that they are Hindu (and, for women, marital status). Columbus started off from Portugal. Elephant vocal sounds occur at about 400 Hz and can't be heard by humans. And Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. And no torture occurs in U.S. prison camps. I know this because my government never lies to me.

I am thankful to my government for removing from me that nasty need to "think" and filling my head with only the best of information. Because my government wants only the best for me, I am sure that this is all for the good of the nation. Thanks be to our Lord and Savior, George W. Bush, and His holy administration! My life has been so much better since I accepted George W. Bush as my personal Lord and Savior and let Him into my heart! I've had my sins washed away in the Blood of the Lamb who died in His place in Vietnam, and have been saved, saved I say! Oh, it just feels SO good to not have to hurt my head with that "thinking" stuff anymore. Now I can join my fellow true believers on Free Republic and never have to think again, glory hallaleujah, AMEN!

-- Badtux the Newly-Converted Freeper Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 5/31/2005 08:17:00 AM  


NOW you're getting with the program, Penguin! Once you realize that INGSOC is never wrong, actions on the part of Glorious Leader that might have seemed bizarre and contradictory in the past make perfect sense.

Incidentally, Oceania will soon be at war with Persia. When that happens, just remember to repeat to yourself, over and over, "Oceania has always been at war with Persia." It's easy!
# posted by Pope Horatio Tyrannosaurus Nixon Rex : 31/5/05 10:35 AM  

Hindu God?

I am a big fan of those witty little elves at Keebler. What will they not put fudge in?
# posted by NewsBlog 5000 : 31/5/05 7:30 PM  

what the fuck are you saying? fuckin insultin other races, are you fucked up or somethin? get a fuckin life ... and what do you think you're doing, insulting hindus and elves like that? go burn in hell
# posted by Haldir : 10/5/06 2:57 PM  

is haldir right? or are you seriously insulting other races? thats not right ... you should get a dignity
# posted by elfe_girl : 10/5/06 2:59 PM  

It's called "satire", dimwits. We are, of course, making fun of the State of California's idiotic curriculum materials and the sorts of people who write such materials (who are George Bush worshipping dolts).

# posted by BadTux : 10/5/06 3:25 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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