Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Friday Cat Killer Blogging

Howdy, folks, Bubba the Southern Penguin here for Friday Cat Killer Bloggin' starring Senator Bill Frist. I is a day late, but look, Darlene locked me out of the bedroom all last week refusin' to do her Biblical duties and I was, like, too desperate to be thinkin' about writin', though I see down there in Badtux's blog that May is a month dedicated to another solution to that problem (but Jesus's General tells me that massacre'ing them spermatzoan-Americans would be murder, so I ain't doin' that!). Anyhow, in today's episode, those LIE-beral commies whine about our glorious Dr. Mengele of the cat world and his friends in Congress is takin' lotsa free trips on corporate jets. Well, I got just this one thing to say about them LIE-berals: What do you'uns have against good ole' American business?

Look, if you don't let the corporations run America, THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON! These immortal artificial peoples have rights too, y'know! And tryin' to keep them from bribing Congressmen and Senators is UN-AMERICAN and downright COMMUNISTIC! We're SUPPOSED to have the best government that money can buy. It's called FREE ENTERPRISE!

Now that we have that one out of the way, it's time ta start stokin' the ole' barbecue grill. It's time to do my manly Saturday duty of cookin' dinner. I got me a rack of ribs, a couple dozen hot dogs, and a few six-packs of Bud, whooeee that there's gonna be some nice dinner! Now, Darlene is gettin' some more of them funny idears of hers from that thare LIE-beral media, sayin' I oughts to grill some VEGETABLES too. Sheesh, Darlene, GRILLED vegetables? Instead of bein' boiled to a textureless mush? Why, that's un-AMERICAN! What? Do I want to do WHAT? Woman, you is goin' ta HELL for not doin' your Biblical duty that way uh oh ah okay, yes Darlene, I'll grill some vegetables for you, but please, please, let me back in the bedroom tonight, PLEASE don't feed my ribs to ole' Trigger, I'll grill you some vegetables, please no, don't throw any more dishes! Err, gotta go, my woman is gettin' het up agin.... sheesh, women. Love'em, but hell, just don't unnerstan them...

- Bubba the Southern Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 5/07/2005 09:36:00 AM  


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Name: BadTux
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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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