Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Beware the CD Players of Mass Destruction!

There was a bit of high drama on Capitol Hill today, as a baffled Chinese tourist meditating upon the Capitol was screamed at in a foreign language he didn't understand, then tackled, and had his luggage hauled off and exploded by the police. The final tally: one baffled Chinese tourist, one less CD player in the world, and one less wristwatch in the world.

Note: AP says the police report that contrary to early reports, the tourist, dressed like Johnny Cash all in black, did not speak to the police at all (as you'd expect, since the police spoke no Chinese). Other reports that he demanded to see President Bush or verbally refused to open his suitcases appear to be based upon testimony of over-imaginative bystanders who've been drinking too much Department of Homeland Security kool-aid.

Still, the action of the policemen was entirely justified. I mean, you get some dusky-lookin' furriner close to the Capitol Building who, like, speaks only that furriner gabble, why, he just has to be up to some mischief! And that CD player... why, if the police hadn't blown up that CD player, it could have exploded and KILLED US ALL!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 4/11/2005 04:20:00 PM  


Aldous Tuxley, truly A Brave New World and totally wacked!
# posted by The Heretik : 11/4/05 6:32 PM  

Bubba sez: Them Chinee is fiendishly clever, y'know. There coulda been sum kinda high-powered death ray hidden inside what looked like an ordinary CD player. I seen sum'in like that in a James Bond movie oncet.
# posted by JC from NC : 12/4/05 4:06 AM  

Uh oh. Turns out that this was an act of war by Austrialia. The guy was Aussie, not Chinese, though he had a Chinese name. Hmm... suspicious, eh? But that's okay, he's being expelled back to Australia. That'll teach him to stand with his luggage and stare at the Capitol Building! Tourists. Don't understand silly little things like standing staring a building is a terrorist act. Feh.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 12/4/05 1:50 PM  

They are so backward in DC. If it were Florida, they could have shot him.
# posted by DBK : 13/4/05 5:31 AM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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