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Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Monday, April 11, 2005Beware the CD Players of Mass Destruction!There was a bit of high drama on Capitol Hill today, as a baffled Chinese tourist meditating upon the Capitol was screamed at in a foreign language he didn't understand, then tackled, and had his luggage hauled off and exploded by the police. The final tally: one baffled Chinese tourist, one less CD player in the world, and one less wristwatch in the world.Note: AP says the police report that contrary to early reports, the tourist, dressed like Johnny Cash all in black, did not speak to the police at all (as you'd expect, since the police spoke no Chinese). Other reports that he demanded to see President Bush or verbally refused to open his suitcases appear to be based upon testimony of over-imaginative bystanders who've been drinking too much Department of Homeland Security kool-aid. Still, the action of the policemen was entirely justified. I mean, you get some dusky-lookin' furriner close to the Capitol Building who, like, speaks only that furriner gabble, why, he just has to be up to some mischief! And that CD player... why, if the police hadn't blown up that CD player, it could have exploded and KILLED US ALL! - Badtux the Snarky Penguin Posted by: BadTux / 4/11/2005 04:20:00 PMComments:Aldous Tuxley, truly A Brave New World and totally wacked!# posted by The Heretik : 11/4/05 6:32 PM
Bubba sez: Them Chinee is fiendishly clever, y'know. There coulda been sum kinda high-powered death ray hidden inside what looked like an ordinary CD player. I seen sum'in like that in a James Bond movie oncet.
Uh oh. Turns out that this was an act of war by Austrialia. The guy was Aussie, not Chinese, though he had a Chinese name. Hmm... suspicious, eh? But that's okay, he's being expelled back to Australia. That'll teach him to stand with his luggage and stare at the Capitol Building! Tourists. Don't understand silly little things like standing staring a building is a terrorist act. Feh.
They are so backward in DC. If it were Florida, they could have shot him. |
About Me
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
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