Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Sleep deprivation experiment
DIdn't get to sleep until 6am, woke up at 10am. How does a penguin do on 4 hours of sleep? Interesting experiment, dear Watson. Didn't stop me from heading up to Wally World to get my medicines, then over to Harbor Freight Tools and Sears to start the work of replacing the tools that were in the toolbox that thieves stole (grrrrrr....). None of my core tools were in that toolbox (they were all with my Jeep that weekend), but lots of shit that just make working on cars and motorcycles more pleasant were in there, as well as some specialty tools that I don't even know whether I need'em anymore but it was nice having them in case I ever did need'em again (tools good! Ugh!). So over at Harbor Freight I got cheap replacements for the various specialty pliers (bent nose, needle nose, etc.) which when you need'em you need'em as well as various picks, scribes, tweezers, and other such implements of mass destruction, and oh yeah, my freakin' *air nozzles* were in that tool box too for attaching to my air compressor/air tank to do stuff like fill up tires and such via quick disconnect so I had to pick up a new air tool kit. Then over at Sears, I got replacements for the locking pliers and channel-loks that got stolen (I had the one of each that I use most often in the Jeep with me, well actually had two of the Vice-grips a tiny one and a regular size one, but the ones I didn't have do get occasional use when they're just the right tool for the job). Thus far the thief has set me back around $120, and I haven't even started on stuff like sheet metal shears and such that were in that toolbox, grrr...
So it appears that sleep deprivation makes me type run-on sentences and buy tools. Sigh. Guess it could be worse. Oh, yeah, what beats me is that I'm cutting back on my caffeine intake, just one cup in the morning for the past two days otherwise I can't safely navigate out of my front door and I'm going to cut that down to an 8oz cup rather than a 16oz mug (heh!) then to a 4oz cup at which point I should be able to kick the coffee habit entirely, but it doesn't seem to be helping the insomnia issue. And no, I don't use meth or crack, so don't bother telling me to quit them either :-). Oh yeah, my Macbook in clamshell mode hooked up to my widescreen 22" monitor is suhweet, but I can't find a picture browser that is as nice as gqview on Linux for the Mac. iPhoto is almost there, but is way too slow once you import thousands of photos into it and sucks up all the memory on the system (and remember I have two gigabytes of memory in my Macbook), not to mention that you have to import the photos into it in the first place, you can't just browse an arbitrary directory full of penguin porn for example unless you import it and who wants to have a 'penguin porn' category in their iPhoto left tab heh! So I guess I gotta fire up Xcode and do my first Aqua programming -- porting gqview to the native MacOS API. That oughtta be a trip :-).
Oh, for those of you who have multiple cats with multiple food bowls, do you find that your cats are picky about what order you fill the food bowls in? If I fi ll the food bowl by the wine rack before I fill the food bowl by the refrigerator, the furry beasties get all discombobulated. The Mighty Fang goes and starts eating out of the food bowl by the wine rack until Mencken shoves him away to grab a few bites, meantime I put food into the food bowl by the refrigerator and nobody's eating out of there. But if I put food into the food bowl by the refrigerator, TMF starts chowing down, while Mencken goes and waits by the one by the wine rack, I put food in there, and Mencken starts chowing down, then it's both kitties chowing down at the same time like it's supposed to be. Damned furry beasts simply do not tolerate any variation from their routine, it gets them all tangled up... hmm, okay, so sleep deprivation starts making penguins start talking about cats, photos, crack habits, and other stuff in a posting about insominia too. Babble babble babble...
Black or white. Good or evil. Liberal or conservative. If you ain't wit us you agin' us. Ever notice that some monkeys seperate the world into two different poles and sort everything into those two poles, without ever acknowledging any shades of gray? It must be sad to have such a bipolar disorder, where you see only two poles - "us" and "them". As a black and white and yellow penguin in a world of monochromic monkeys, I can only express puzzlement at the inability of monochromic monkeys to see anything that is both black and white. Instead, they only see the color that they want to see, at which point this penguin becomes a white penguin for those who want to see white, and a black penguin for those who want to see black. Or a "liberal" penguin for those who want to see "liberal", or a "conservative" penguin for those who want to see "conservative". Sad, really. How odd, these monkeys that can see only one color at a time, and never revel in the black and white and yellow and green extravagance of the universe!
Karl was a penguin. Karl was using his laptop to browse penguin porn. Now Karl is a flat penguin, after Karl, intent upon getting a closeup view of the porn, stepped onto the keyboard of his offended laptop which then snapped closed on him.
Thus illustrating the evils of penguin porn. This blog has been the cause of more flattened penguins than any other site on the Internet. Well, other than perhaps that evil supervillain, The Gay Agenda, who has been busily forcing penguins to be gay, which arguably is a worse evil than causing them to be flat.
So will I continue purveying penguin porn, knowing that it causes my waddling cohorts in herring adoration to become flat? Why... YES! The only question in my mind is what to post. Oh dear, so much porn, so little time...
So without further ado, here is some *HARDCORE* penguin porn:
After much investigation, I found the villian! I asked my Freeper friends, and they said that it's The Gay Agenda that's forcing these poor innocent penguins to be gay! Apparently The Gay Agenda is a super-villain much like Lex Luther or The Joker, who goes around forcing men to marry men and women to marry women and boy penguins to, well, boink boy penguins, and The Gay Agenda will come and force YOUR child to be gay if good God-fearing Americans like you and I don't put a stop to him! After some digging around on the Internets, I found a picture of The Gay Agenda:
If you see this villain, contact Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell immediately so that they can rush to the God Cave, toss on their superhero outfits, and foil this evil villain using the mighty superpowers of Bible Thumping and Fatuous Orating granted to them when they were exposed to toxic chemicals as youths! It makes this Freeper's heart just THROB with joy to think of these three-piece-suited crusaders rushing through the streets in the Godmobile to save innocent penguins from being turned into perverts by that evil supervillain, The Gay Agenda!
More to follow, after I finish cursing SOB chickenhawks and get my breath back...
"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce."
-- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
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