Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The cyborg threat to national security!

HTML bearbeiten! Verfassen! Vorshau! Yes, my German lessons at the hand of continue. And now, drum roll please, the nation's top cop has the scoop on the next big crime threat: Man-machine cyborgs in the employ of organized crime gangs. Yeah, just like in the manga.

It is with a sense of disappointment that I read further and realize that this guy is the top cop of Australia, not of the United States. What, we no longer have the monopoly on moronic coppers here in the old USA? We're no longer #1 in the moronic coppers business? I simply refuse to believe it. After all, a nation where our top copper predicts terror attacks by scrying his stomach growls (and perhaps by how much his corns ache) simply HAS to have a top copper, somewhere, who predicts future threats to the nation equally as fantastical. He just hasn't managed to make it to a microphone yet to utter his screed, that's all!

-- Badtux the "USA! USA! USA!" Penguin
Post veröffentlichen, gosh darn it!

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Posted by: BadTux / 7/19/2007 04:57:00 PM  1 comments  

Saturday, June 16, 2007

User interface design

From the Gnome Usability forum:

Perhaps you're snorting. What can be so hard about using a mouse, you wonder. After all, you've done it with supreme ease for as long as you can remember. But keep this in mind: Nipples are natural. Everything else has to be learned. Since it is doubtful that a computer interface based solely on sucking on nipples will be invented any time in the near future, we have to focus on making our existing interfaces as easy to use as possible.
This penguin, for one, is having trouble envisioning a computer interface based upon sucking on nipples, but is willing to try.

-- Badtux the Nipple-less Penguin

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Posted by: BadTux / 6/16/2007 10:38:00 PM  8 comments  

Friday, June 15, 2007

My name is Badtux, and I am an addict

I have come to a shocking conclusion after five hours without high-speed Internet: I am an addict.

Yes, I, Badtux, am an addict. I am addicted to speed. Dial-up simply will not do. I am addicted to YouTube and its continual plate of high-speed-internet-needed goodies. I am addicted to browsing the blogs at the speed of light (or at least the speed of Comcast!) from a location, located only a few miles from Google, that is akin to quenching one's thirst from a vast river of data that flows far faster than any mere mortal can drink. I... I... I am addicted to high speed Internet.

The only good news about this addiction is that it is one which is not particularly harmful. And the withdrawal symptoms aren't that bad. I got to play with my new C and Bb pennywhistles that came today, as well as the SVEA 123 camping stove that was sitting on the stoop right beside the whistles. The dishes are chuckling away in the dishwasher, the clothes are swishing around in the washing machine.

Still, it is disconcerting to this penguin to find out that he is an addict. Please pray to the Great Penguin for me, okay?

-- Badtux the Addict Penguin


Posted by: BadTux / 6/15/2007 10:13:00 PM  10 comments  

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Important question of the day

In a war for world domination, would Dr. Zaius's monkey army, Evil Spock's radioactive ant army, or this humble penguin's penguin army prevail?

Curious penguins want to know!

-- Badtux the World Domination Penguin
But hey, penguins are kick-rear anti-ship missiles...

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Posted by: BadTux / 6/07/2007 03:13:00 PM  10 comments  
 My Photo
Name: BadTux
Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica

I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

-- Plato

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