Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Gonzo Gone Watch continues

Senator Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma) isn't really known to be a Commie faggot-loving liberal. He's called for the death penalty for abortionists, said that the country was under attack by a secret gay conspiracy that had “infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across this country." He once said that in the town of Coalgate, Oklahoma, "Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in Southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it." Ole' Tommy Boy, despite his physicians' oath to "first do no harm", is also a firm advocate of torture, and enjoys regaling interns with pictures of dead fetuses and STD-afflicted vaginas. In short, Dr. Tom is the wingnut's wingnut, nuttier than pecan praline that's mated with peanut brittle and hatched a bowl of mixed nuts.

Yesterday, however, Dr. Tom had enough. After four hours of Attorney General Gonzo answering "I don't recall" to each and every question, either lying or having the memory of a newt (no no, the lizard, not the Grinch), Dr. Tom pounded his meaty fists on the table and bellowed, "It was handled incompetently. The communication was atrocious. You ought to suffer the consequences that these others have suffered, and I believe that the best way to put this behind us is your resignation."

This sentiment was also echoed by other notorious liberals such as Senator John "Man-on-turtle" Cornyn (R-Texas), Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa). Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), and Arlen Specter (R-Pa.).

Gonzo is *so* fried... and it couldn't have happened to a better person. So I'm just going to sit here sipping soda and smirking at the sight of Abu "I love Torture" Gonzales sweating buckets as his beady little eyes whirl frantically around looking for anything, anyone, that might seem even a teensy bit sympathetic to his plight...

-- Badtux the Sadistic Penguin

A little comment for right-wing readers: watching Gonzo sweat is funny no matter *what* your politics. How many different ways can one man say "I can't recall" anyhow?! BTW, it was his outright fibbing and lying, not the actual act of firing the attorneys, that had the Republican senators irate. If Gonzo had simply come out and said "Yes, I fired these attorneys because their politics did not match the goals of our administration", there would have been tut-tutting from the Democrats (of course) but no problem with the Republicans. But then he had to come out and *LIE* about it. Just like the Clenis lied about that blow job. Just like that.

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Posted by: BadTux / 4/20/2007 11:00:00 AM  7 comments  

Monday, March 26, 2007

Gonzo is *SO* Gone

From World Nut Daily, voice of crazed Republican fanatics everywhere: Embattled AG now accused in sex scandal 'cover-up'; Attorney General Gonzales among officials who allegedly ignored abuse of minor boys.

Oh brother. If you're a Republican and World Nut Daily has turned on you, it means that the Party has turned on you. Better polish up your resume, Gonzo. I hear the Bush mansion in Kennebunkport needs a new gardener...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Posted by: BadTux / 3/26/2007 02:41:00 PM  6 comments  

Friday, March 23, 2007

Gonzo Gone Watch

Alberto Gonzales Death Watch continues. Good. Gonzo is an evil venal little toady who defends the indefensible (torture). But it won't be this week or next week. Gonzo knows too much about where the bodies are buried. Gonzo ain't gone until his Medal of Freedom is ready.

Past that point, his job prospects are... maybe the Bush mansion needs a gardener, eh? Boy, I'd love to see the look on his face when Babs makes that offer!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Posted by: BadTux / 3/23/2007 10:39:00 AM  1 comments  
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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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