Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A sad and horrifying admission

In light of my mentor Jonathan Swift's horrifying tale of a child behaving badly, I have my own sad and horrifying admission to make. I have done a bad thing. I, I, I... YELLED AT MY CAT.

Yes, my cat. A fluffy innocent kitty that had done nothing wrong except jump up on my computer desk and walk in front of my computer screen and mew pitiably to be petted, as cats are wont to do when their human is not properly worshipping them. But I was too busy, too inconsiderate, too, too... HUMAN... and I yelled at the cat instead, calling him bad names for getting in my way while I was trying to work on my computer. I even picked him up and set him down behind my chair! Sob! Can you ever forgive me? I have damaged my poor kitty for life. Oh I feel so ASHAMED...

-- Badtux the Abashed Penguin My poor innocent victim asks, "Why, daddy? Why?"...

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Posted by: BadTux / 4/24/2007 01:53:00 PM  


Mimi is doing the same to me right now. I, however, am petting the widdew kiddie cat, as I've been gone all day.

I'm sure Fang will get over it. Someday...

# posted by Mixter : 24/4/07 4:04 PM  

you deserve to feel is a truly evil deed that you have done...(that's from my dogs)
# posted by moderate : 24/4/07 4:07 PM  

Courage mon penguin. A twelve step near you program is if only -- such a little thing -- you will admit your abuse of poor fluffy!
# posted by Martin Langeland : 24/4/07 5:59 PM  

::sigh:: It's back to the obedience chamber for you until you learn to act like a civilized life form.
# posted by Lurch : 24/4/07 6:53 PM  

What could have possessed you?
# posted by sumo : 25/4/07 1:36 AM  

Dogs have owners, Cats have staff.

'nuff said.
# posted by Marcus : 25/4/07 8:09 AM  

What can I say, Sumo? I put my own welfare ahead of my cat's for a few seconds there, and indulged my inner monkey.

Now like Alec Baldwin I shall find my photograph on thousands of web sites all over the Internets decrying my aweful behavior toward my poor innocent loved one. I shall have reporters pounding on my door and hounding me on the streets. I will have people second-guessing me for the rest of my life. Why, the Humane Society might even sue me to take custody of my poor darlings back! This is just such an aweful major news event that's going to ruin not only poor innocent fluffy's life, but mine too. Sob!

- Badtux the Reporter-hounded Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 25/4/07 9:50 AM  

First Alec, then Chevy Chase says he was beaten as a child, now you! Oh, Evil Spock will be happy when the world gets raptured!
# posted by Evil Spock : 25/4/07 12:15 PM  

Come on now Badtux. Let's look at this logically. The moment you did that, your delightful little package of fur dismissed it as just another random act of insensitivity by an ignorant lesser being. He understands that you know not what you do.
Please forgive yourself.
# posted by cornfield jane : 25/4/07 12:43 PM  

Watch out. The Mighty Fang might sneak up and groom you when you're not looking.
# posted by The Truffle : 25/4/07 5:15 PM  

Actually, Mencken, rather than The Mighty Fang, was the cat that I yelled at. You see how concerned he is about it, right?

- Badtux the Misdirecting Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 25/4/07 6:15 PM  

Aw! Poor kitty. I hope he's not like my orange cat. I yelled at him many months ago, at the cat bowl, because of his greedy ways. Now, I walk past and he runs.

That's a pretty picture. Your cats are so shiny and cute!
# posted by oldwhitelady : 26/4/07 6:09 PM  

Ahem. Music for cats, when the staff is out working to buy the food.
# posted by Lurch : 27/4/07 5:19 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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