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Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Sunday, February 25, 2007The Gay Agenda according to World Nut Daily
Left: The Gay Agenda as depicted by L>T:
That mighty supervillain The Gay Agenda gets a lot of press on World Nut Daily ("A free press for a free people", for some value of "free"). A quick Google search of World Nut Daily turns up over 500 articles published there about that horrible supervillain. So what is so horrible about The Gay Agenda, he of the iridescent tights, rainbow cape, big "G" on his chest, and his Gay Ray Gun of Gayness that he carries between his legs as he flies through the skies Superman-style? Well, clicking through some of the search results turns up some interesting facts about The Gay Agenda: The Gay Agenda wants to be taught in elementary schools. Now, I know what you're saying -- why does a big lunk in tights, with that, err, suggestive ray gun, want to sit all akimber in one of those little 4th grade seats learning his multiplication tables along with little kids? Well, I'm not sure, but The Gay Agenda apparently went to court to make sure he got taught in elementary schools. The Gay Agenda wants to adopt little boys and girls and use them for child sacrifices. Many states have had to actually pass LAWS prohibiting The Gay Agenda from adopting little boys and girls in their states! C'mon, the notion of some evil supervillain in tights adopting a small child ought to raise a few questions, eh? The Gay Agenda goes around looking for pregnant girls, and when he finds one, he rips the fetus right out of her belly (this is called "Plan B", I suppose "Plan A" would be to take the girl to a normal abortion clinic). Then The Gay Agenda eats the aborted fetus as it wriggles in his rainbow-gloved hands. Once finished eating the aborted fetus, The Gay Agenda then uses the Gay Ray Gun of Gayness to force the girl to gay-marry another girl, or maybe Senator Santorum's dog or Senator Cornyn's box turtle depending on his mood. The Gay Agenda has super-powered breath that contains Super AIDS. All that The Gay Agenda has to do is breathe on someone and that person gets AIDS. It is unknown whether this super-power is related to Rush Limbaugh's breath, which merely reeks of brimstone and reduces the IQ of anyone subjected to it by 50 points. The Gay Agenda sneaks up on loving families at night and holds a knife to the throat of the woman and forces them to divorce and gay-marry other people and forces the children to be sad and kill themselves. The Gay Agenda wants to put all straight people in jail, or kill them if he can't jail them. The Gay Agenda sneaks into unsuspecting households at night, kidnaps the children, and makes them watch X-rated movies. It is unknow what The Gay Agenda's motivation for doing this is. Perhaps he is lonely and just wants company. In any event, it is clear that The Gay Agenda is a bad, bad man. The Gay Agenda wants to marry a sheep. In other news, half of the state of Wyoming and most of the country of New Zealand goes "Ewe!". The Gay Agenda sneaks into homes at night and replaces Bibles with Qurans, then takes the Bibles and rips the pages out to use as toilet paper. The Gay Agenda apparently has irritable bowel syndrome. The Gay Agenda sneaks into military recruiting stations and shoots the new recruits with his Gay Ray Beam of Gayness and turns them all into swishy boys and manly girls. The Gay Agenda invades churches and forces preachers at gunpoint to preach to The Gay Agenda. It is unknown what joy he gets from doing this. I guess being an evil supervillain means never having to explain your evil-ness. The Gay Agenda forces nations that tolerate his presence, like Canada and the Netherlands, to be unlivable hellholes, while nations that shoot at The Gay Agenda at sight, like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and Iran, are beautiful paradises. Boy, I sure learn a lot about The Gay Agenda by reading World Nut Daily. The Gay Agenda is truly an evil supervillain! -- Badtux the Snarky Penguin Labels: gay agenda, humor, wingnuts Posted by: BadTux / 2/25/2007 08:36:00 PMComments:ok I've posted MY version. EnjoyThis post of yours is quite funny, BTW # posted by L>T : 25/2/07 9:37 PM
Gay Ray Gun of Gayness that he carries between his legs as he flies through the skies Superman-style?
LMAO -- this is too funny...and too sad all at the same time.. |
About Me
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
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