Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

A few lessons from life

These are a few things I've learned in life:

The longest all-nighter I ever pulled in the software industry to meet a state-imposed deadline is less exhausting than a single day of teaching, yet teachers get paid less than half of what I get paid now. What's the deal there?

Librarians really DO know everything. (And are cool people too, reputation aside).

A swimming pool on a hot day ain't no fun for the guy who's cleaning it.

A rusty 1981 Chevy Chevette is just fine for offroading in deep sand, as long as you keep moving fast enough. (You can surf the belly pan!). I did end up having to weld the top of a shock tower back on though.

People with small children should insure that they behave appropriately in restaurants, rather than allow them to throw food, run screaming in circles, and otherwise drive minimum-wage workers to distraction and causing havoc and destruction. If your child cannot behave in a restaurant, stay home.

The all-you-can-eat buffet is for all YOU can eat -- not all that your dog, your brother, your sister, your dentist, and your auto mechanic can eat. They can buy their own buffet.

Playing with the nuts and bolts is a lot more fun than writing reports about nuts and bolts.

Successful companies are built by people with a passion for building great products. Successful companies are destroyed by people with a passion for working for successful companies.

A college degree is worth about as much as the sheepskin it's printed on. Except when it's not.

It's not what you know, it's who you know that counts at any company with over 100 employees. (Now you know why I work for small startups, with the sole exception of that semiconductor company).

Lawmakers should be allowed to introduce only one law apiece per year, which must be expressed in 100 words or less. Lawmakers should get their salaries doubled for a year if they introduce no law at all that year.

If I am going on trial for a crime I didn't commit and I have a choice of a) an auto mechanic, or b) a typical Silicon Valley software engineer as a potential juror, I will take the guy who deals with nuts and bolts every time.

Other people's opinions aren't worth what you pay for them. (And if free, they're worth even less).

In the end, we're all dead. So you might as well live first.

A purring cat on your lap is a better anti-depressant than every drug pill-pushers will ever try to foist on you.

If you are seeing double, having irrational paranoid delusions, and your hands are shaking, DON'T DRINK SO MUCH COFFEE!!!!!

If God hadn't intended us to forget sometimes, He wouldn't have invented beer.

God doesn't need other folks to tell us what He says. He can speak for Himself. I don't know whose voice these high-powered preachermen and politicians are hearing in their head, but I suspect they're more profit than prophet in the end.

Truth is a journey, not a destination. God is Truth and God is infinite, while Man is mere mortal and limited, so we can never know more than a tiny sliver of Truth. Anybody who says they know The Truth is saying he's God. Which I suppose might be okay if this person's name is Jesus Christ, but otherwise...

That is all for now.

-- Badtux the "Poor Richard" Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 1/18/2007 01:28:00 AM  


along with the purring cats in the lap i wish to add

puppies (especially golden retriever pups)

and (this is the most effective)

banjos (4 or 5 string variety)

i have told many, many people that if there were more banjos stocks of xanax, ativan and prozac would plummet. it's impossible to strum or pick a banjo and remain depressed.
# posted by The Minstrel Boy : 18/1/07 9:22 AM  

And . . . .
A when you turn upside down in a 1983 K-5 Blazer in a ditch full of snow, you can turn it right side up and still drive it home.
If you own a classic old muscle car - drive it!! No sense in having toys you don't play with.
And for the record:
I'm 47 and still pull donuts in the parking lot on a snowy day.
I only drink one large cup of coffee in the morning. I drink two or three beers in the evening. And have seven cats.
Life is good.
# posted by cornfield jane : 18/1/07 10:29 AM  

We have puppies and a 5-string minnow-dipper. All's right with the world.

A mechanic eats nuts and bolts. Please punctuate.
# posted by Gordon : 18/1/07 3:27 PM  

Yeah, those old K5 Blazers were pretty much indestructible, I was with a guy a few weeks ago whose K5 had been on its side more than once. All he did when he managed to get it to fall over is have his buds push it back on its tires, pull out a random can of spraypaint and spray where it got banged up, and drive off. Something to be said for having a beater!

Minstrel, the problem with puppies is that they grow up. Purring kitties always remain lap-sized.

# posted by BadTux : 18/1/07 3:47 PM  

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