Sunday, October 01, 2006

Time to admit it: I'm un-American

I've reluctantly come to the conclusion that despite the fact that I was born in the United States and hold a US passport, I am not an American. If I were an American, I would believe, like 63% of Americans, that torture is a right nice thing rather than a moral atrocity. I would believe that it is a good idea to bomb and/or invade random countries just because we can. I would believe that the question of whether Jennifer Lopez had liposuction on her hips is more important than thousands of innocents dying due to American bombs and bullets in Lebanon or Iraq. If I were really an American, I would be an incurious Budweiser-swilling boor with an unwarranted sense of self-entitlement and an impenetrable willful ignorance about anything outside of Entertainment Weekly.

The only question is whether I make it official and start the immigration process now to move north to Canada, or wait 20 years until I hit retirement age and move south of the border, where their governments are as corrupt and incompetent as the Bushevik governments but at least they don't invade random countries and start slaughtering people for no reason but to prove that their Dear Leader has a big swingin' dick.

-- Badtux the un-American Penguin

Comments:

These people you describe (so aptly, let me add,) remid me more and more of the bozos I see in football game photos, naked torsos, faces painted in "their" teams colors, 42 ounce beer cup spilling all over them as they roar approval with angry, contorted faces.

And blank eyes.
# posted by Lurch : 1/10/06 4:14 PM  

We love our country but are dismayed at all the changes and deception. And where would we go anyway? You are right about going south.
# posted by The TechnoBabe : 1/10/06 8:03 PM  

You're not un-American. You're merely disenfranchised.

As am I...
# posted by Mimus Pauly : 2/10/06 7:42 AM  

"but to prove that their Dear Leader has a big swingin' dick."

And also to prove that they're REAL MEN, not perverts like Mark Foley.
# posted by drumwolf : 2/10/06 8:03 AM  

There are alternatives to Canada, which is a bot too cold for my tastes, but probably is just right for penguins. I am seriously considering New Zealand which, along with being breathtakingly beautiful, is also a more temperate climate. Also (and this is only anecdotal and I know it can't hold true universally there), every person I have ever met from New Zealand was lovely, and their accents were fabulous! Your Yankee greenbacks go farther (US$1.00=NZ$1.50), and property is not that expensive. By and large, New Zealanders tend to be political progressives. What's not to like?
# posted by Red State Blues : 2/10/06 8:46 AM  

Think Panama. (The real Van Halen song is playing in my head).

Low Crime, good investment opps, courtesy people. Look up Isla Solarte in Bocas del Toro. But, if anyone asks, it is a dreadful place, keep away.

You're not un-American. You just haven't been brainwashed by the current administration or it's puppet propaganda media outlet (Faux News). That means you're wrong-headed. You haven't been Bushfucked yet. You my need to go to re-education camp soon.

♪♫ Panama - ha! ♪♪♫
# posted by niCk (Mem Beth) : 2/10/06 12:05 PM  

Mimus: The 30% of the population that is sane, such as you and I, definitely are "disenfranchised", but no more so than any other minority group. Short of the U.S. moving to a parlimentary system similar to Israel's with proportional representation, this is unlikely to change. The majority of Americans have gone bat-shit crazy, supporting endless wars, torture, emprisoning opponents of Dear Leader, and other such craziness. Short of utter national disaster discrediting the ideas of the neo-fascists (I'm talking about similar to the national disasters that afflicted Germany and Japan during their flirtations with fascism, i.e., utter destruction of the government and the nation's infrastructure by an outraged world no longer willing to tolerate that blight upon the planet), I see no hope for any change in the near future (i.e., within our lifetimes). And because of the Pacific and Atlantic, such national disaster isn't going to happen anytime soon -- nobody else has the force projection capability to go across oceans, and it'll take decades for them to build such a capability.

New Zealand -- high unemployment, a major crime problem due to disaffected unemployed youth (primarily in the South, where they hang around on the street corners terrorizing passers-by, but to a certain extent all over). That said, they're going to be better off when the Empire collapses than closer periphery states that have tied their wagons to the Empire, such as Canada and Panama. And the fact that their native language is English is helpfu.

Panama: Panamanian government is dominated by a few oligarchic families. For a taste of Panamanian government, look at the ongoing Panama Canal expansion project. The Chinese are pouring in over a billion dollars to widen and modernize the Canal. Corruption in the contracting process means that a significant proportion of the money is ending up in the pockets of the ruling oligarchs. The new "low water use" locks that use holding tanks to reduce water usage by up to 75% are also going to be an environmental disaster, because they're going to result in the increased salination of Gatun Lake and all the intermediate water sources that power the locks (the locks don't have pumps -- they use gravity to fill the locks and empty locks). Also, Panama uses the US dollar as their currency. Once the dollar becomes worthless, after the collapse of the Empire, they're going to have to de-lock the Balboa, and the Canal will become much less useful and far less profitable (the only other major trading partner of China on the other side of the Canal is Brazil, and Brazil gets more stuff from Europe than from China).

Another place to look is Chile. They're somewhat isolated from the rest of the Americas, and not as anti-gringo as the Brazilians. They lack the critical mass to become a major world economy and their isolated location means that their economy will always have difficulties with trade, but the climate is good and the government not that bad compared to other corrupt governments in the region.

Both Chile and Panama suffer from a number of obstacles preventing easy creation of new businesses. To get the necessary operating permits to legally open a business in both countries can take up to six months and involved tens of thousands of dollars in bribes whoops! "fees" sorry, got carried away there! It is always, of course, possible to open a business without the proper licenses, but then you are at the mercy of any policia with his hand stuck out for a bribe. Both countries do have a reasonable banking system, unlike some third-world nations where the only bank is a national bank that is mismanaged by government cronies and more likely to embezzle your money than to loan you money, but they're not paradise by any means.

On the other hand, neither is the United States nowdays, if you don't happen to be one of the Fortune 400 billionaires who have more money than the entire lower 50% of the U.S. population combined...

-Badtux the Geopolitical Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 2/10/06 12:33 PM  

I am searching for a term to let others know quickly that I have checked out of this culture and don't want any part of the vapidity and the war crimes. For all the pejoritives that were sometimes attached to them, the terms "Red," "beat," or "hippy" quickly got the point across in their times. Maybe I should start a contest, and offer a prize of 100 euros.
# posted by K. Ron Silkwood : 2/10/06 4:32 PM  

I'm leaving for New Zealand 10 February. Culturally (and not just politically) I have not felt at home in the US for almost 20 years. I'm a kiwi at heart I suppose...
# posted by Anonymous : 30/1/07 5:52 PM  

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