Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I am *SO* going to Hell...

because I blog.

Oh well. I'll get to meet my hero, Mark Twain, there, as well as all my other fellow bloggers, so I guess that's not a *bad* thing. Boy, I sure am glad to find that you can bugger teenage boys, kill 600,000 Iraqis and 3,000 Americans, cheat on your wife, steal money from poor people, and otherwise behave as total savages and still go to Heaven, but if you blog, well, uhn-uhn, you're going to that other place!

Well fine. The class of people you meet down there has to be better than the child molesting, wife cheating, money-grubbing Republicans who apparently are going "up there". It'll be great meeting Groucho Marx and Mark Twain in person....

-- Badtux the Vacation-planning Penguin

Props to Ole' Blue, Mimus Pauley, et. al. for getting there first...

Posted by: BadTux / 10/12/2006 01:55:00 PM  


Mark cut himself shaving.
He expostulated appropriately.
Livy, his wife, listened at the door than entered to repeat, word for word. Mark's outburst.
Mark shook his head sadly and replied:
"Well my dear, you have the words. But you can't carry the tune.

The Dum Luks scatologist
# posted by Dum Luk's : 12/10/06 7:41 PM  

Ah yes, Mark Twain's famous statement that "if I can't swear in Heaven, I'm not staying there.".

Good company, my friend. Good company.

-- Badtux the Literary Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 12/10/06 8:19 PM  

Yeah, yeah, yeah, see ya there pal. We'll swear up a storm, tell risque jokes and all that. But at least we won't be surrounded by Christian idiots and bombs.

Christians, they don't even know what in the fuck heaven is.
# posted by BBC : 12/10/06 8:30 PM  

Other than my fellow bloggers (even those on the right -- our differences will no longer matter), I can't wait to meet Tom Paine, Carl Sagan, Thomas Jefferson, Harriet Tubman, Albert Einstein, Mother Jones, Rosa Parks, Teddy and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Isaac Asimov, Philip K. Dick, Arthur C. Clarke, Harper Lee, and Mark Twain -- among countless others.

Thank goodness I'll have an eternity to meet them all...
# posted by Mimus Pauly : 12/10/06 9:16 PM  

This makes perfect sense from the Godbags' point of view. Why would they ever want their flocks to express an original thought, a thought they have not been spoon-fed. That's the first dangerous step towards thinking for one's self. Can't have that.

Hip hip hooray for Mark Twain. I am listening to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (the greatest American novel, ever) on CD while I commute to work right now. Coincidentally, I am just now at the part where the "Duke" and the "King" along with Huck have gone to the gospel revival meeting. Hilarious.

It's good for us to remember that it has not just been the last couple of decades that charlatans disguised as religious leaders have been bilking a gullible public. See also, Gantry, Elmer. Oh, and add Sinclair Lewis to Mimus's excellent list of people we might look forward to seeing in Hell.
# posted by Red State Blues : 13/10/06 6:49 AM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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