Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Idiot lefties want to preserve non-native invasives

Okay, I've found at least two of the lefty set anyhow that criticize Senator Conrad Burns (R-Stupidsville) because he got a law passed allowing wild burros in the West to be shipped overseas and eaten.

Now, Senator Burns should be opposed for a number of reasons, not the least of which is his famous "Taxi Drivers of Mass Destruction" speech, which unfairly slandered terrorists. But this ain't one of them.

Look: Wild burros are NOT natives to North America. They are invasive exotics, released there either accidentally or on purpose by prospectors. They are, literally, four legged eating-and-shitting machines with no natural predators in the American environment. And they are causing widespread ecological disaster in the West, driving the native bighorn sheep literally to the brink of extinction via eating the forage and, more importantly, contaminating the springs and water holes that the native animals depend on.

I don't know if you've ever seen before-and-after pictures of one of these springs after the burros discover it. But it ain't pretty. I've been to one of these. What had been a beautiful oasis in the desert with lots of greenery and crystal clear water had been turned into a muddy reeking feces-laden wasteland, utterly desolate of all life except the incessantly braying burros that have driven away via starvation or water contamination all of the birds, longhorn sheep, rabbits, etc. that once lived there. It was horrible. The smell alone would almost kill you.

Something has to be done about these pest animals before they drive the longhorn sheep completely into extinction (when the burros move in, the longhorn populations plummet), and one or two occasionally being captured and going to do-gooders' farms is not working. If it takes turning them all into dogfood (or Chinaman food) to get rid of this non-native assault upon the ecosystem of the West, so be it...

-Badtux the Western Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 9/06/2006 04:09:00 PM  


Oh fuck it, just kill all the humans being as they are non-native species wandering all over. Problem solved.
# posted by BBC : 6/9/06 7:04 PM  

Well, there is that. The world's human population, like the West's burro population, has gotten utterly out of control and, like the West's burro population, is crowding out species to the point of extinction. But neverfear, Dear Leader has a Plan for dealing with that issue. Nukes are our friend.

- Badtux the Apocalyptic Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 6/9/06 7:20 PM  

I think Burns should have to eat some ass.
# posted by NewsBlog 5000 : 6/9/06 8:52 PM  

"They are, literally, two legged eating-and-shitting machines with no natural predators in the American environment."

Two legged?!? Wow, those must be some pretty weird burros. Next thing you know, they'll be talking, killing each other in the middle east, and building nukes. ;-)

# posted by Anonymous : 7/9/06 8:14 AM  

Hmm, right. I was thinking of that *other* pest animal, the hairless ape infestation. But that one appears to have its own solution in the end...

# posted by BadTux : 7/9/06 10:27 AM  

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