Wednesday, September 06, 2006
"Hey, I'm a girl, I don't do that crashing of cars into stuff thing, y'know?"
Someone's out to get Kathy. She decides it's time to drop out of sight. A slight issue comes up...
I stopped around the block from my apartments and checked the webcams.
Coast seemed clear. Nothing in range of the 'cams, anyhow. I checked
my watch. Five minutes. Not enough time, hopefully, for whatever was
about to happen to have arrived yet. I drove around the block and
parked my Toyota in the driveway, and ran into my apartment and
grabbed my go-bag, a large duffel packed for these kinds of
occasions, then ran out. And stopped short, looking at my Toyota.
Hell, what if they'd already bugged my Toyota?
I was pretty sure my apartment wasn't bugged. Not by anybody except an
inept FBI agent over a year ago, and those bugs had already quietly
died as their batteries expired and the FBI lost interest in listening
to irate tenants whine about how their faucet was dripping or those
kids were playing their stereo too loud in the parking lot. But my
Toyota? It lived out in the open. Shit.
I looked around for a solution, and I saw it.
I jogged over to where Jose Mendeles was caressing his classic Impala
with a dust mop. "Yo! Jose! I need to borrow your wheels for a couple
His jaw dropped. "Wha? No way!"
"I'll let you borrow my Toyota. A month's free rent! All I need it for
is a couple days, I need to do some stuff my Toyota won't do. I won't
hurt it, I promise. Hey, I'm a girl, I don't do that crashing cars
into stuff thing, y'know?"
"A month's free rent?"
"Yeah. For two days use of your car. Three, max. And you get the keys
to my Toyota. Hey, c'mon, think how proud your grandma will be. A
whole month's rent!"
"Thanks! Gotta go. Here's the keys to my Toy. Where's the keys to
Critter? Oh, there they are, in the ignition, of course. Thanks!" I
tossed my keys to him. As he caught them I shoved past him, tossed my
duffel in through the back window, and jumped into the front seat,
reaching down and hauling it close enough for me to reach the pedals
as I turned the ignition key. Critter started up with 454 cubic inches
of Detroit madness rumbling under its hood, and I jammed the automatic
tranny into reverse and hit the gas pedal. Hmm. Bad move. Tires
screeching. 400 horsepower tend to do that. Oops! Jose was yelling
something at me, but I was trying to avoid hitting a car that was
turning into the parking lot. I jammed the transmission into drive,
and headed out the other entrance of the parking lot, hitting the
buttons to roll up the very illegal tinted windows on this beast, and
bounced out onto the avenue, barely missing an Accord in the other
lane as I wheeled the big steering wheel wildly trying to get the
barge to turn. Hmm, note to self -- a classic Impala doesn't turn
corners as sharply as my Toyota. I glanced backward and Jose had run
to the corner and was shaking his fist at me. I hit the gas pedal and
Moral of story: well, I guess there isn't one.
PS: Jose's car comes out fine. It woulda been a nice cheap stunt to crash the car, but she ends up abandoning it in a shopping center parking lot and paying cash for a used Nissan being sold by a private party, because a classic Impala just sticks out too much. Her Toyota, alas, does not turn out so well -- Jose barely avoids getting crispy when he goes to start the thing the next day.
Posted by: BadTux / 9/06/2006 11:53:00 PM
# posted by Dum Luk's : 7/9/06 4:58 PM
Hmm, Impala. That covers a LOT of styles, even though the model is the same.
Which generation is Jose's Critter?
454 cubic inches? Would that even fit in an Impala (big block versus small block and all that). Of course, some of the Impalas came with 427 cubic inch engines, so maybe a 454 engine could be crammed into one (Note that a variant of the 427 was rated at 425 hp, which is quite impressive. 1 hp/cubic inch is quite high for a non-turbocharged engine.).
What about any customized paint on it? Flames? What colours? Jacked up or lowered? Tell us more about the car! :-)
# posted by : 8/9/06 8:45 AM
- Name: BadTux
- Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.
View my complete profile
April 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)
Cost of the War in Iraq