Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Goodbye, cruel world

I am depressed. 60% of my fellow Americans think torture is a right jolly idea, our Congress duly rubber stamps it, Iraq is still a horrible horrible mess where innocents die every day thanks to our Dear Leader's crusade, American "culture" continues debasing itself to the lowest common denominator, our infrastructure is collapsing, our health care system continues to degrade to third-world levels, and nobody cares except us few lunatics out here trying to bring sanity to a pack of screeching howling feces-flinging chimpanzees with less brain than my stupid nose-licking cat. Enough. I've had it. It's time to end it all. Time to finally do the deed: Put the pizza in the oven.

For a short time, at least, I will be in a world of hand-tossed pizza dough topped with the finest of toppings -- three kinds of cheeses, pepperoni, jalapenos, and a tasty well-spiced sauce. My home will be filled with the smell of tasty dough cooked in an oven atop a prime pizza pan designed to emulate the effects of flame-fired ovens. I will go to bed a happy penguin, if a bit more rotund.

Then I will wake up in the morning, and be back in the real world again.

Good night, and may your dreams be of pepperoni, not of the insane world that we've helped make.

-- Badtux the Pepperoni-smelling Penguin

Jesus's General announces the victory of the Great Patriotic Cultural Revolution too...

Posted by: BadTux / 9/29/2006 06:44:00 PM  


That is how we do it too; sometimes we just have to try to have some kind of a normal life. We make bread in the bread machine, and the smell of baking bread fills our little funky house with a moment or two of getting away from it all. So enjoy your pizza. We don't know how long we will have the freedom to choose a pizza or bread, so enjoy it now.
# posted by The TechnoBabe : 29/9/06 8:29 PM  

Ah, but what a way to go!
# posted by niCk (Mem Beth) : 30/9/06 3:44 AM  

Good for you-it has been a hideous week. I seem to have caught some sort of yecch and now feel like crud. Today is housework and the like while under the umbrella of crud.

Maybe I'll order a pizza later...
# posted by TheCultureGhost : 30/9/06 10:27 AM  

It should be, Hello Cruel World.
We just made it worse. Yay America
# posted by BlondeSense Liz : 30/9/06 10:14 PM  

Am I correct in assuming you're giving up watching your weight, too? 'Cause I'm about to go country hog porcine out of spite. Frankly, I feel like the world's coming to an end. As a nation, it's like we've cut out our heart, poisoned our brain, and outright stomped to pulp our souls -- but goofy gosh, are we hell-bent on watching our weight!

Well, I may be bound for hell, but I don't give a rat's ass about my waistline. It's getting cooler outside, the holidays are coming, I'm tired of yelling at these walls, and I have no idea where I'm gonna be in 12 months -- chow time!

I'm basically a bear with furniture anyway -- I scratch a lot, I lay around dreaming of Elysian landscapes a lot, I eat a lot, I fart a lot, and I enjoy all of this so much it occasionally makes me dance. What I don't enjoy is spying on others who never meant me any harm. Or harassing others who never meant me any harm. Or rounding up others who never meant me harm. Or torturing others who never meant me harm. Or murdering others who never meant me harm. I don't want to dance when I learn that these things have been done in my name, I want to curl up in the deepest part of some cave and die.

That's my alternative to letting myself go.

Well, I'd rather die of weight complications, thank you very much...
# posted by Mimus Pauly : 1/10/06 7:48 AM  

Nah, Mimus. The occasional binge isn't going to make a big difference, weight-wise. It's when the binge extends for days at a time that things get tricky there. I actually have two times of the month (paydays) that have "pizza" marked on my calendar. Other than those two days, I eat sensibly, which isn't a big chore for me because I'm not "naturally" a heavy person.

As for living long, I want to do that just to spite all these SOB's who've killed the American dream.

# posted by BadTux : 1/10/06 9:49 AM  

Great post, as always...except the part about the cat. Cats have more brains than most humans, certainly more than all of the GOP Congress & Bush put together.
# posted by Demon Princess : 6/10/06 12:42 AM  

You don't know Mencken the Cat, Princess. He is *DUMB*. For example, when he gets his claws caught in something, like he got it caught in the weave of my jeans while he's kneading his paws purring as I pet him, the way to get his claw un-caught is to push and release. Does he do that? *NO!*. I have to do it for him, otherwise he sits there trying to pull *back* (against the hook of his claw), getting increasingly frantic, until he finally completely panics and just about rips my pants off of me pulling against his claw with all his strength trying to get it loose!

I think Mencken may be a Republican, though, so you may have a point about brains and Republicans...

# posted by BadTux : 6/10/06 8:48 AM  

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