Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I got spam
What is it with all these widows of deceased African dictators who want to give me money? Do they love penguins that much? And then there's the ones promising me a giant penis. My question with that one is, who hunted down the giant and cut off his penis, and why would I want this bloody trophy anyhow? Is there some land somewhere that the Jolly Green Giant and Paul Bunyon and the Jack and the Beanstalk giant are all standing around holding their hands between their legs, moaning in pain because someone took a hatchet to their thang while they slept? Then there's the ones offering to sell me the secret of weight loss. Hmm. "Eat fewer calories than you burn". Yeah, that's a secret apparently, given all the fat slobs I see on the streets, but c'mon, I wouldn't pay more than a nickel for it.
And finally: When my mail server's spam filter is outright rejecting over a thousand of these messages per day, and routing another 150 per day to my spambox because it's not sure, why am I still seeing twenty or more of these per day in my inbox?
Personally, I think all these spammers ought to get the same treatment as the giants they've taken hatchets to for those giant penises that they're selling. But that's just my opinion, y'know?
-- Badtux the Spammed Penguin
PS: One of my aquaintances of the female persuasion says she especially loves the giant penis spam. When I asked her why she wanted a giant penis, did she want it for her fireplace mantel or something, she stared at me for a few minutes then began giggling for some reason she won't tell me... BTW, penguins don't have penises. They have cloaca. Did you know that?
Posted by: BadTux / 8/22/2006 07:10:00 AM
Cloaca: A waste pipe that carries away sewage or surface water.
According to my dictionary. So how does a Penguin have sex? With his beak? Billy confused.
# posted by BBC : 22/8/06 9:42 AM
I always laugh at the ones from "hot chicks" who promise to take good care of my penis.
Hot chicks don't need to ask for it online.
You gotta know these "chicks" are either 280lb weightlifting guys, or skanks; why would anyone with half a brain reply to that??
What we really need is a way to get the people who reply to spam OFF the internets! They're the ones giving the spammers a reason to keep it up.
# posted by SB Gypsy : 22/8/06 9:44 AM
"...So how does a Penguin have sex?..."
BBC: with a smile on his face
# posted by Lurch : 22/8/06 10:22 AM
These Interweb tubings need a good scrubbing.
# posted by K. Ron Silkwood : 22/8/06 10:32 AM
BBC, if you're interested, go to http://www.google.com and type "penguin sex". You can even see pictures there. Even a video, in one case, of two penguins going after it. The funny thing is that because neither male nor female penguins have external sex organs, you can never be sure whether it's male-on-female, male-on-male, or female-on-female action going on, and in some cases zoos have been shocked to find that what appeared to be happily mated couples were actually both male penguins. That is all I am going to say about the subject of penguin sex here, you will have to look up the actual details yourself :-).
-Badtux the Sexy Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 22/8/06 12:21 PM
I get young hot chicks emailing me all the time to meet them. How do they type with their beaks?
# posted by Ole Blue The Heretic : 22/8/06 2:07 PM
Hey, maybe you're on the same mailing list as I am. I've been getting a couple every week, too. I was afraid it was my name, but I guess not. If a Penguin is getting that mail, then I guess an oldwhitelady could get the same type junk. I wonder if people actually fall for those?
I don't think I've gotten a giant penis email in a month or so. They probably got tired of me emailing them back asking them to send it, now. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - Damn! Sorry, I thought it was funny. I laughed myself sick.
# posted by oldwhitelady : 22/8/06 8:43 PM
BTW, penguins don't have penises. They have cloaca. Did you know that?
yes. yes I did.
somewhere I have a photo of the crumbling remains of the Shrine of Venus Cloacina, Roman goddess of drains and sewers.
# posted by 42 : 24/8/06 5:33 PM
- Name: BadTux
- Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.
View my complete profile
April 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)
Cost of the War in Iraq