Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Bushit vs Real Life

President Bushit made a little speechy thingy on Memorial Day. President Bushit was nice and clean and happy, and his family is all safe at home. But in real life: People are dying. American soldiers are dying. And for what? . "Democracy". Which apparently involves lots of explosions and dead people. But never fear, Dear Leader will never be caught in the actual presence of one of the soldiers that he has murdered by sending into a war to destroy Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction punish Saddam for supporting al Qaeda seize Iraq's oil for the United States install democracy at gunpoint in Iraq enrich Vice President Halliburton at taxpayer expense. After all, they're mostly unseemly crackers from Tennessee or those unseemly brown people. They talk funny, with one of them thare accent thingies like Dear Leader fakes from time to time (Dear Leader's normal accent is a Conneticut accent -- as you'd expect, since he was born there and spent most of his childhood there). They're just untermenschen, nobodies, plastic soldiers to push around on the pool-table-sized map in the War Room under the White House. They're not real people, rich white people, God's people, the Bush crime family. Thus they don't count. They're not REALLY dead. They're just, like, toy soldiers that accidentally got knocked over into the fireplace -- just slightly melted, y'know.

Fuck President Bushit and the horse he rode in on. If there was any goddamned justice in this world, if there really was a God, then God and the Four horsemen of the Apocalypse would ride down from the heavens and smash the roof off of the White House and pluck that fucking asshole murderer out of his Oval Office by his hair. Then they would take him to New York City and strip all his clothes off and tie him up by his balls in the middle of Times Square. Then they'd flay every strip of skin off his body as he screamed in pain, until he passed out. Then God would heal President Bushit and then start it all over again. And this would happen over and over again, until God finally boomed out to the world, "This is what happens to mass murderers. Repent." Then He would hang President Bushit from the top of the Empire State building, and the crows would peck every bit of flesh from his body, as God kept him alive to see and feel it. Then God would allow Bushit to die, and his body to rot until it crumbled and fell to Earth.

But God hasn't done that, and won't. That is why I know there is no justice, and no God. President Bushit will retire to his cushy penthouse in Houston (the Crawford pig farm is a prop that will be discarded ASAP), and cackle as he revels in his millions. Like Richard Nixon, like Henry Kissinger, like all the other mass murderers who have held power in U.S. history, he will be celebrated as a great leader and a hero of the Republic.

But that doesn't make him any less a murdering asshole who ought to be on trial right alongside his old buddy Saddam Hussein, for the exact same reason -- murdering hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians for no reason other than to retain power. But it won't happen. It won't happen. Because there is no justice. And there is no God.

-- Badtux the Disgusted Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 5/30/2006 09:02:00 PM  


I agree
# posted by Ole Blue The Heretic : 31/5/06 7:49 AM  

It might be interesting to compare the current president with past presidents. For example, Franklin Roosevelt had his four sons in the military during that war (James/Marines, Elliott/Army Air Forces, Franklin Jr./Navy, John/Navy). One wonders how things would be different if one or both of the Bush girls were in the military.

# posted by Anonymous : 31/5/06 8:06 AM  

Oh, and leave the horse out of it.
# posted by Anonymous : 31/5/06 8:08 AM  

Don't worry, Bush is scared of horses, so he didn't ride in on a real horse, just a golfcart.
# posted by BadTux : 31/5/06 12:00 PM  

Since there is no God, and there are still have roughly 32 months remaining in this wretched "presidency," our best chance is to hope that DubYa will lose interest in his job. After all, if there's one aoverarching theme to his life, it's that, whenever a job gets difficult, he either waits for Daddy to bail him out, or he loses interest and gives up.

As he's told us all many times, preznitting is Hard Work. And since the mess he's made this time is SOOOO big that even Daddy can't bail him out, maybe he'll lose interest in Iraq and finally do what he says he's been doing all along - leave the military decisions to the generals on the ground there.

The best thing that could possibly happen to our soldiers and the people of Iraq is for George Bush to forget they exist. If history tells us anything, it's that the times when Bush is paying attention are the ones when we should be really worried.
# posted by Aaron : 31/5/06 2:40 PM  

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