Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Are cats a liquid or a solid?

Just wonderin'. I pick mine up, I could swear they're a liquid. They just kinda pour out of my hands, y'know?

- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 5/07/2006 08:59:00 PM

Comments:

Cats are made of a special substance originating on the planet... erm.. cat. You know, where they originally came from... or something.

My second guess is they are slinkies covered in fur.
# posted by Lab Kat : 8/5/06 9:30 AM

Here's another cat mystery for you. If you attach a piece of buttered and jellied toast to the back of a cat, hold it out at arms length (I advise you wear heavy leather welding gloves), and drop it, which side lands on the floor?
# posted by Cornfield Jane : 9/5/06 2:02 PM

I actually tried that experiment. Hint: Cat trumps toast. Cat's feet touched the ground, and cat ran off. Which is what you'd expect. After all, cats have a far larger brain than a slice of toast, and brainpower overpowers, err, toast power.

- Badtux the Experimental Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 9/5/06 2:20 PM

Interesting. I have a colleague here that said, "The answer is obvious. Two constants are in play here.

First, as we know a cat will always land on its feet. Also, an axiom of Murphy’s Law also tells us that any slice of bread will always land buttered side down. With the buttered side of the bread and the cat’s feet pointing in opposite directions, when released the cat configured as described will spin above the earth’s surface indefinitely as neither law can be violated.

If it were not for the fact that doing this would be extremely cruel to the cat, this device if replicated and deployed could theoretically be a tremendous source of pollution free alternative energy that could save the US millions of barrels of foreign oil annually."

I guess you've blown our theory.
# posted by Cornfield Jane : 9/5/06 2:35 PM

Indeed. Your theory presupposes that there are equal and opposite forces involved here. However, anybody owned by cats knows there is nothing equal about cats. Their force is far superior to what would be supposed given their size and general phlegmatic disposition. And as any physicist (or football player) can tell you, when there is unequal force involved, the stronger force wins. The stronger force, in this case, being the force of will of the cat, which wishes desperately to get its feet underneath it and thereby completely overwhelms the force of the toast attempting to place its jam face-down.

- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 9/5/06 4:07 PM

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007

"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

-- Plato

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