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Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Thursday, December 01, 2005Pentagon shocked by reports it plants propaganda in pressSecretary of Defense Ronald Dumsfeld announced yesterday that he's shocked, shocked I say, that someone within the Department of Defense could ever engage in planting propaganda in foreign newspapers, and immediately announced that the Pentagon was going to immediately investigate allegations that the Pentagon paid reporters to plant favorable stories in their newspapers. It is widely expected that the Pentagon will find that this did not, in fact, happen, or if it did in fact happen, charges will be filed against the same seven rogue soldiers who are to blame for all torture allegations against the Pentagon.In other news, Enron is going to investigate whether Enron defauded investors, and Arthur Anderson is going to investigate whether Arthur Anderson did not fulfill its fudiciary duty to Enron investors. It is widely expected that they will find that the companies did, in fact, fulfill their fudiciary duty to investors, and that any reported problems were caused by The Evil Seven, who, prior to enlisting in the National Guard, were highly-ranked Enron employees. Also, the heirs of former President Richard Nixon are re-opening the Watergate investigation, and will perform a full and thorough investigation of the unproven allegations that Richard Nixon was a crook. It is expected that this thorough and impartial investigation will also find that The Evil Seven also were responsible for all those misdeeds, and that Nixon was, in fact, an honest god-fearing man who was unjustly accused of being a crook when he was, in fact, the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. - Badtux the Snarky Penguin Posted by: BadTux / 12/01/2005 12:23:00 PMComments:Penguin, if you are going to blaspheme against Nixonian Scripture, at least quote the correct passage! Heretical Tuxologist waterfowl!# posted by Pope Horatio Tyrannosaurus Nixon Rex : 1/12/05 2:55 PM
President Nixon spoke to me in a dream while riding a yak and said to me that he will be found not guilty of any thing exept being a good man who was the last prophet before the next coming of Jesus Christ, who is embodied in our lord and savior George Bush. |
About Me
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Cost of the War in Iraq
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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
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