Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The senator from Mongolia strikes again
Senator Rick Santorum (R. Mongolia) says that the pursuit of enjoyable activities harms America, and is contrary to what the Founding Fathers believed in. Apparently that whole deal about "pursuit of happiness" and about how one of government's job was "effecting happiness" in the Declaration of Independence doesn't mean what we think it means. Hmm... so what COULD it mean?
Ghenghis Khan said that happiness consists of consists of vanquishing your enemies, to chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters. And John Lennon once sang about how happiness is a warm gun. Apparently, according to Senator Santorum, the founding fathers weren't talking about doing enjoyable stuff when they talked about "pursuit of happiness". They were actually talking about the right to keep and bear arms in pursuit of vanquishing your enemies, robbing them of their wealth, slaughtering them, and raping their wives and daughters. I mean, c'mon. Iraq. Duh.
My congratulations to the Senator from Mongolia for clearing that little misunderstanding up for us!
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Posted by: BadTux / 8/03/2005 12:18:00 AM
Penguin, you just don't understand. Your primary error consists in expecting Senator Santorum's actions to match his words. Those of us in the Church of Nixon have long familiarity with the Ancient Republican Art of giving lip service to small government whilst simultaneously ratcheting the Surveillance State to a level undreamed of in the minds of the most fervent Big Government Liberal.
In fact, the principle diety of our church invented the technique (although it has been since perfected by the White House's current occupants.) Praise Nixon! Glory!
Incidentally, if you wish to read more about the Good Works of Senator Santorum, here is a wonderful website.
# posted by Pope Horatio Tyrannosaurus Nixon Rex : 3/8/05 1:50 PM
- Name: BadTux
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