Friday, July 22, 2005
All hail the Creator!
The First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has sent a demand to the Kansas School Board that their own religion's version of the creation of Man be taught in science classes in Kansas. While of course as a good Tuxologist I believe that all Pastafarians will end up going to Hell (Nevada), if the Pastafarians get their way, that presents an excellent precedent for the teaching of Tuxology in Kansas science classrooms.
See, while the First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believes that a flying spaghetti monster created the universe, we Tuxologists know better. We know it was the Great Penguin who did so, who then created penguins in His image, some of whom subsequently devolved into the absurd monstrosity that we call "man", and that by partaking of the Sacrament of the Herring one can contact your Inner Penguin and, at some point in the future, perhaps even attain perfect peace and harmony. We know this because our holy documents, passed down from flipper to flipper over the years by the Emperor Penguins of Antarctica and found during Admiral Robert Byrd's last trip to Antarctica, tell us this is so. But for some reason we can't get science educators to take us seriously. Every time we push our theory of the creation of the universe at some convocation of those nerdy science geeks, they LAUGH at us!
But once Kansas rules that creationism can be taught in classrooms... HAH! I can see the sour look on those evil "scientists" faces when they have to teach their students about the Great Penguin. Who will have the last laugh then?
- Badtux the Tuxologist Penguin
Posted by: BadTux / 7/22/2005 12:01:00 AM
*MewHa*! *Meow*! Kansas is wrong... and so are you! Cats created the universe! Why we did such a stupid thing, only the Great Catamundi knows. *Purr*
# posted by The cats, formerly known as CottonSaddieMango : 21/7/05 11:24 PM
Blasphemers! Idolators all! Get down on your lousy, stinking knees and beg the Old Ones for forgiveness! You won't get any, of course, but when they rise from the depths and devour all humankind, at least you'll be eaten first.
Ph-nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
# posted by Pope Horatio Tyrannosaurus Nixon Rex : 22/7/05 7:11 AM
- Name: BadTux
- Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.
View my complete profile
April 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)
Cost of the War in Iraq