Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.


Thursday, June 02, 2005

Thusday Penguin Porn Blogging

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I found the following picture of naked penguins rioting in one of those "gay rights" parades in connection with a story about gay penguins in Japan:

I will have to consult with the rest of my Freeper brethren to know what I'm supposed to think about this, but it can't be good. Oh the horror, a parade of unnatural militant waddling sodomists waddling down the streets naked, displaying their terrible "Rainbow Power" emblems proclaiming their vile unnatural perversion in a parade, where little children and horses can see them! Surely this will cause the downfall of civilization! I'm sure my Freeper brethren will tell me that these homos ought to keep their perversions in the pantry. Or maybe that's cupboard? Oh dear, I feel so NAKED without access to my Freeper brethren to tell me what is true and what I should think. Why, if this conditions continues, I might even have to THINK FOR MYSELF and make my head hurt, ick! Gotta go, need to get my FreeRepublic.com fix before that horrible thing happens... [some minutes pass...] AH! That feels better, just two stories on FreeRepublic.com and I can feel my IQ dropping! The horror of having to think for myself has been prevented, glory hallaleujah, AMEN!

-- Badtux the Newly-converted Freeper Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 6/02/2005 08:18:00 AM  

Comments:

The situation is worse than you think, Penguin. We've been following the gay penguin problem for a long time, and I'd say it's officially become an epidemic.
# posted by Pope Horatio Tyrannosaurus Nixon Rex : 2/6/05 8:55 AM  

Surely this will cause the downfall of civilization!

Is that a wish, my fine feathered freeper?
# posted by Mimus Pauly : 2/6/05 12:32 PM  

If you only new how long I've been trying to find a site that published gay penguin porn...
# posted by DBK : 2/6/05 5:22 PM  

Gay penguins are a myth of the liberal media. Any good christian will tell you that homosexuality is an unnatural act, and that is why the lesser creatures do not practice it.
# posted by NewsBlog 5000 : 3/6/05 4:44 AM  

Hold it... you mean that the evil supervillain, The Gay Agenda, has, instead of forcing poor innocent penguins to engage in unnatural acts, has instead forced newspaper editors to publish fictional stories about said penguins engaging in unnatural acts? Phew! As a straight Freeper penguin, that is a relief to me! Now I can stop looking for The Gay Agenda lurking in my closets or under my bed waiting for me to go asleep so he can jump out and shoot me with his Ray of Gayness and, like, turn ME into one of those perverts, and instead sleep like a penguin. But what about you? Aren't you one of those editors? Shouldn't YOU be checking under your bed and in your closets to see if The Gay Agenda has snuck in before you turn in to sleep? Or has The Gay Agenda already shot you with his Ray of Gayness and turned you into one of those horrid sodomy-supporting types? Oh the horror!

-- Badtux the Newly Converted Freeper Penguin
# posted by BadTux : 3/6/05 9:03 AM  

Actually, the Clenis forced the newspapers to publish those stories.

Rule No. 1: It is always the fault of the Clenis.

Rule No. 2: If you think it isn't the fault of the Clenis, refer to Rule No. 1.
# posted by DBK : 3/6/05 6:51 PM  

Additional penguin-related program activities:

http://photos13.flickr.com/17321382_e27da1d3d4_o.gif

http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf
# posted by DancingLarry : 3/6/05 11:37 PM  

Great picture:) I didn't know there was such a thing as penguin porn. Now, I do.
# posted by oldwhitelady : 5/6/05 11:44 AM  

Thanks for the laugh. Needed that.
# posted by The Laughing Rainbow Heretik : 7/6/05 10:13 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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