Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

No torture happened at Abu Ghraib


Torture is universally accepted as:

"any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity. It does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in or incidental to lawful sanctions".

(Article 1 of the United Nations Convention Against Torture and other Cruel, Inhumane or Degrading Treatment or Punishment 1988).

U.S. law has the same basic definition written into it.

European and Russian law is a bit more strict. They basically say that ANY kind of inflicting physical or moral distress upon a prisoner in order to get him to talk is torture.

Now, our glorious Deputy Leader says no torture occurred at Abu Ghraib. And as a good American who has accepted George W. Bush as my personal Lord and Savior, I believe my Vice President, for like George Washington or the apostle John who wrote the Gospel, he is an upright moral person who cannot tell a lie.

When I said this to one of those silly members of the Reality-based community, he said "But what about the pictures of prisoners being tortured at Abu Ghraib?" Silly fool! There are no pictures of torture at Abu Ghraib!

So he said, "What about this picture? Isn't this inflicting severe moral distress and mental anguish upon prisoners by forcing them to simulate sodomy against the precepts of their religion?"

Oh silly, silly person! That's only torture only the Euro-weenie and Russian definition! Why, here in the good ole' U.S. of A, there's people who actually ENJOY sodomy and beastiality, even to the point of man-on-dog, man-on-mule, and man-on-box-turtle action!

So he said, "Okay, so extreme pain is what you want. Isn't this guy suffering extreme pain as he is jacked up and dragged around on the floor while bleeding from a gunshot wound?"

Why NO! Those are just tears of JOY in that man's eyes, JOY at being prisoners of fine upstanding Americans rather than of the Butcher of Baghdad, who, like, TORTURED people at Abu Ghraib!

So finally this silly LIE-beral says to me, "What about this guy? He was tortured to death. Surely that's torture?"

Well, if he's dead, he's not feeling any pain, is he? DOH! How can a dead man be tortured?

Boy, I've felt better about myself and my country ever since I accepted George W. Bush as my personal Lord and Savior! No longer do I have to feel disgust over pictures of prisoners being tortured because, as our Lord's personal deputy tells us, there is no torture. Phew! I feel LOTS better now! Gotta go, need to catch up on the news at so I can know who to hate today during the Two Minute Hate, boy, hate is such a CLEANSING feeling, y'know?

-- Badtux the Freeper Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 6/01/2005 08:49:00 AM  


"Hatred is the last defense against disillusion."

I just thought of that. I like it...
# posted by Mimus Pauly : 1/6/05 9:40 AM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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