Monday, April 04, 2005
War on Fun drafts pharmacists
One of the new fronts in the "Christian" right's War on Fun is your helpful drugstore pharmacist, who is being enlisted to deny birth-control pills to women. It seems that some "Christian" pharmacists are refusing to provide birth control pills to women because it "conflicts with their ethics", because it allows women to have fun without getting pregnant (the NERVE of those uppity witches!). After a few pharmacists got fired for this, the "Christian" right started pushing for Freedom of Conscience laws, which say that pharmacists can't be fired for "following their conscience".
The Snarky Penguin applauds this law, because it will protect Tuxologist pharmacists, too. See, Tuxology believes that modern medicine is a conspiracy, and that large doses of cod liver oil are all that is necessary to cure every human disease. So now the following scenario will no longer result in the firing of a Tuxologist pharmacist:
Man: "Hi, could you fill this prescription?"
TP: "Sure! Here you go."
Man: "Uh, this isn't Viagra, this is cod liver oil."
TP: "That's right. Cod liver oil will make your little soldier salute like a Marine!"
Man: "But I want Viagra!"
TP: "Well you can't have any, because I'm a Tuxologist and we Tuxologists don't believe in Viagra!"
Man: "But... but... I have a PRESCRIPTION! And it's your JOB to fill this prescription! What kind of customer service are you providing, anyhow?"
TP: "It's for your own good, sir. You can talk to the manager if you want, but it won't help you, because of the new Freedom of Conscience law, that says I don't have to dispense medicines that my religion says are evil!"
Man: "But... but... that's WRONG! It's your JOB to dispense medicines!"
TP: "Sorry sir, I don't have to dispense Viagra and there's nothing you can do about it. It's the law."
My understanding is that Christian Science pharmacists are especially pleased by the new laws. Since they believe that all medicine is anti-God, their entire job will become handing out religious tracts and pray for the sick when people come to get their prescriptions filled -- Praise the Lord!
Yours in Snark,
Posted by: BadTux / 4/04/2005 12:23:00 PM
Badtux the Snarky Penguin
- Name: BadTux
- Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.
View my complete profile
April 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)
Cost of the War in Iraq