Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Friday Cat Killer Blogging

Howdy, fellers, this here's Bubba the Suthern Penguin again, for today's episode of Friday Cat Killer Bloggin' Starring Bill Frist. Now here's the latest hummedy-doo that them LIE-berals is tryin' ta hang on our brave Dr. Mengele of the Cat World: why, him and his patriotic Republican buddies voted against armor for U.S. soldiers in Iraq.

Now, look here, our boy Bill is no dummy. He knows that our fellers over there in Iraq is the most trained, best equipified, guys and gals in the world, and that this armor would have KILLED THEM ALL! Yessiree, 'cause you see, this here armor was suggested by DEMON-crats, and nuthin' suggested by a DEMON-crat can be any good, so see, Dr. Frist was PROTECTING our troops, that's all! It's not as if soldiers are actually dying over there anyhow, oh sure, them LIE-beral news medias occasionally shows some big explosion or sumthin' in Iraq, but do you ever notice how it all looks like the SAME darned explosion every time? They're just re-using footage to fool us good patriotic Americans into believing Iraq is a hell-hole rather than a peaceful bastion of liberty and democracy in the Middle East! But we'uns is wise to them LIE-berals, 'cause we got the word from our Lord and Savior, George W. Bush, that the people of Iraq is liberated, especially the children, hallaleujah, AMEN!

Now, I gots ta go now, got a bit of a crisis here. Darlene! NASCAR is on and my beer bottle's empty, where's my next bottle of Bud? You mean you ain't got no more? Well why didn't you get your fat butt off yer chair and go get sum? What? Why don't *I* do it? Quit yer whorin' ways and do your biblical duty towards your man, woman! [SLAP! BAM! BANG! CRASH!] Err, gotta go, the little woman is throwin' dishes at me again...

- Bubba the Southern Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 4/29/2005 01:12:00 AM  


Hoo boy...

Note to Mrs. Bubba: when throwing dishes at your husband, take extra care to strike him in the head -- that way you won't do any permanent damage.

My 2 cents.
# posted by Mimus Pauly : 30/4/05 8:29 AM  

Be careful there Bubba. You could end up with a Bible up your azz!
# posted by Missouri Mule : 5/5/05 3:51 PM  

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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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Bill Richardson: Because what America needs is a competent fat man with bad hair as President (haven't we had enough incompetent pretty faces?)

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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