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Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Tuesday, March 08, 2005Wisconsin hunter wants some pussy A Wisconsin hunter named Mark Smith, fed up that he isn't getting some pussy, has asked the Department of Natural Resources for an open season on hunting pussy with a gun. He says that pussy eats millions of birds every year (man, that's some super pussy!) and thus deserves him coming after it with a shotgun. Pussy lovers everywhere, meanwhile, are utterly outraged, saying that if Mr. Smith wants some pussy, he should go get some beaver magazines or something. Those liberal pussy lovers keep chanting, "make love, not dinner".
Mr. Smith, in the meantime, insists that pussy tastes "just like chicken".
That's all the news that counts for today... - Badtux the Reporter Penguin PS: Bonus pussy on the right! Whoohoo! Posted by: BadTux / 3/08/2005 07:28:00 PMComments:Perhaps you should send ace reporter, Jeff Gannon, to do some location reporting for you.# posted by TheCultureGhost : 8/3/05 9:23 PM
Mr. Gannon is no good when it comes to pussy. That's not the way his barndoor swings, if y'know what I mean.
Ghost and Tux and The Heretik all alone in comment land? Oy. Thanks to both of you for your support. Tux, I am pulling the great Sophie out again for Women's Month. If you have any leads on other than usual places for quotes, please let me know. Thanks. Fight on, my phantasmic and flippered friends!
jeff gannon recently said on his new website that maureen dowd needs a little "jeff gannon, if you know what i mean."
Ser Heretik, my posting schedule is too erratic for a large number of people to bother perusing this blog every ten minutes (snark is hard work, and I already have a 12-hour-a-day job). As for Mo Dowd needing a little "jeff gannon", nice of Jeff to verify for the world that his Gannon is little. I suppose that rather than people saying to him, "are you happy to see me or is that a Gannon in your pocket?", they instead say to him "are you happy to see me or is that a paperclip in your pocket?" Indeed... |
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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
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It is unknown whether Mr. Smith is married, or, if he is, what his wife thinks about his proposal for open season on pussy. It is presumed that if Mr. Smith is married at present, he will either have a seriously flattened head as an iron skillet descends upon it, or shall not be married by the time this reporter clicks on 'Publish Post'.
"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
Are you a spammer? Then send mail to my spamtrack mailbox to get permenantly banned! Remember, that's iamstupid@badtux.org (hehehhe!).
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