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Badtux the Snarky PenguinIn a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin. Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped. |
Tuesday, March 29, 2005Secular atheist professors are anti-TuxologyThis penguin applauds the Florida legislature for moving an Academic Bill of Rights towards passage. This bill, opposed by those evil intelligent and educated people, would give equal time to both those evil liberal atheist professors' beliefs and those of my religion, Tuxology, the Religion of Digestive Health. Tuxologists everywhere applaud this. Leftist elitist professors hate it. With their irrational belief in things like "scientific method" and "evidence", these "scholars" are obviously anti-America and objectively pro-terrorist. And with their elitist belief that studying a subject for decades makes them better qualified than 18 year old students or semi-literate state legislators to make statements about their subject, why, what an elitist attitude! Next thing you know, they're going to insist that, say, a doctor who has spent decades studying and doing surgery is more qualified to remove an inflamed appendix than a guy who went to his local book store and picked up a copy of "Surgery for Dummies"!The first target of young Tuxologist college students, once this bill becomes law, will be Geography professors. See, we Tuxologists believe that the world is a flat disk carried on the backs of four elephants facing in the directions of the compass, all of whom are standing upon the back of Great A'Tuin the World Turtle as he swims through the sea of stars. We insist -- nay, DEMAND -- that these evil elitist Geography professors give equal time to our theory! And the law says that if they don't, we can SUE them! YAY! *Finally* we can give these evil dictatorial Geography professors, with their ridiculous notion that the world is round (what a silly notion!), exactly the treatment they deserve -- a quick trip to Hell, Arizona, to be flagellated with limp herring at the hands of the mighty Penguin Inquisition. Fear the Penguins! So remember: Either you support David Horrorwitz's "Academic Bill of Rights" giving equal time to Tuxology's theory that the world is a flat disc, or you're, you're, a LIBERAL DOODY-HEAD and ANTI-AMERICAN! - Badtux the Snarky Penguin Posted by: BadTux / 3/29/2005 12:50:00 PMComments:Mr. Penguin,I knew a geography professor who was a crack head (well, actually, since he was a well-to-do elitist, he smoked 'base'). I'm sure that, for a rock or two, he'd be happy to agree with your theory. As our current administration has repeatedly demonstrated, once you have an expert on your side, any idea you put forth has to be given equal time. Like the notion that our 'missile defence' will actually shoot down missiles. Or that idea that the Clear Skies Initiative will reduce pollution. Or the suggestion that the Healthy Forests Initiative will help us keep forests. Really, you should look into it. Optional # posted by : 29/3/05 4:45 PM
Jeez, where is the Tuxic Avenger when the world and democracy need him?
Liberal doody-head?
Hey, look, I had to get down on the same level as the "Intelligent Design" people when they talk about their critics. "Liberal doody-head" is about as intellectual as they get, y'know? |
About Me
I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys. ArchivesApril 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 /
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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-- Plato
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