Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Monday, February 14, 2005

We need a new member for Axis of Evil

Remember when Preznit Dubya announced that there was an Axis of Evil containing Iraq, Iran, and North Korea? Well, now Iraq is not part of that Axis of Evil, since we liberated(tm)* it and the people there now have freedom(tm)**. But if the Axis of Evil only has two members and not three, it's not an Axis! So who should we add as the next member?

My personal nomination: The Bahamas.

Now I hear you say, "The Bahamas?!"

Yes, The Bahamas! Look, I have evidence that the Bahamas have joints of mass destruction. They're located to the north, south, east, and west of Nassau. These awesome weapons of mass destruction could easily fall into the hands of terrorists. DO you want New York City to disappear under a mushroom cloud of marijuana smoke? Oh the horror, people might actually have FUN!

So I repeat: As part of the multi-pronged War on Fun(tm), it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that the Bahamas be added to the Axis of Evil immediately, invaded, and their people liberated from the evil tyranny of Queen Elizabeth II, an unelected despot whose wicked rule has resulted in people who (gasp) ENJOY LIFE!

Besides, don't you just have dreams of seeing manly men like Dick Cheney and Karl Rove catching the rays on a Bahamas beach wearing nothing but bikini swim trunks after we liberate the Bahamas? AWESOME! Kinda like seeing a beached white whale. Except with more blubber. Yum, the thought of seeing their manly man tits sagging in the open air just makes this penguin's flippers flap for joy!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

*Liberated(verb): Killed their men women and children, installed our own puppet government, and freed them to be ruled by their mullahs.
**Freedom(n): The right to be pronged up the bunghole in order to enrich the Party elite.

Posted by: BadTux / 2/14/2005 04:13:00 PM  


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I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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"Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce." -- Molly Ivins, 1944-2007 "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

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