Badtux the Snarky Penguin

In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.

Religious fundamentalists are motivated by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere, is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.

Friday, February 25, 2005

New dating service for conservatives

Courtesy of South Knox Bubba, this penguin learns the disturbing fact that Sean Hannity has an online dating service for conservatives. Oh my eyes! Oh my poor eyes! Ick! The typical want ad there appears to be something like this:

Wanted: pasty, flabby Republican pundit wants pasty, flabby woman to fetch my beer. Must appreciate the tattoo on my meaty, girlish bicep, 'Born to Bloviate', emblazoned on the bulging tummy of the Pillsbury Doughboy - the symbol of the feared 101st Fighting Keyboarders. Interested sex kittens send EMAIL to: Jonah.Goldberg@NationalReview.com.

As for why these Republicans need that site, I mean, look: look at that guy to the left there. He's a 41 year old never been married real he-man STUD, pasty face and flabby biceps and all! Hell, he probably never even had a date. Do you know how much courage it takes for such a loser to post his details on a web site like HanniDate?! My flippers salute in admiration of the brave Jonah and his fellow hoards of pasty, flabby Republican manhood, who have such a difficult time emerging from their mothers' basements to encounter that most unique of species, the pasty, flabby Republican woman, but who have finally found the right solution for finding that perfect flabby pasty beer fetchin' woman: Demonstrating their flabby biceps, pasty faces, and complete lack of intellect on a web site! What an amazing concept. I wonder why nobody ever thought of that before?!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Posted by: BadTux / 2/25/2005 10:30:00 PM  

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Name: BadTux
Location: Some iceberg, South Pacific, Antarctica

I am a black and white and yellow multicolored penguin making his way as best he can in a world of monochromic monkeys.

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